My husband says that he "doesn't want to be this way" and that he's willing to "try it my way" and stop drinking and go for outpatient therapy for the alcohol.

I have many feelings about this - but what surprised me that most is that it threw me into a panic. He has a LONG road to recovery, if he in fact goes through with it AND he has alot of damage to repair. I've come way too far to even think about trying to rebuild our marriage until he is well into recovery.

What scares me the most is that I'm not in love with the man that he is today and I don't know that I will ever want to be with him again. I feel a small sense of responsiblity to support him in his recovery but I'm worried about sending any wrong signals that there is any guarantee that we will ultimately end up being together.

I like being my own person and having only to depend on me and not worry about someone else's issues. I'll never go back to what our marriage had become.

I'm afraid that he's doing this only to be back with me and our sons and to be a family again, and not because he's sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I don't ever want to get lost in him again - or any other person for that matter.

Any thoughts are appreciated!!!!!!!


God has a plan for me, I trust in God's plan.