The next time i,for whatever reason,allow my emotions,although they can be pretty overwhelming at times,to stop me from telling on myself i sure hope i dont hold on to it as long as i did this time around because it will happen again.

The last several days i've been caught in the middle of a conundrum as a result of my behavior and hiding behind the truth.

I posted on here about allowing myself to essentially manipulate another lady to show me explicit pictures of her naked.

The details are unimportant therefore i told my fiancee i did this and i was sorry and not only did she forgive me and listened to me while i was squriming to tell her, but she knows how hard it was for me to not allow the "secret" i was holding onto, yet unable to tell her because i was filled with fear.

Anyway i can't really tell you when i reached that point in my life where i decided to stop lying and face all truth in my life i can honwever tell you speaking the truth is the only way otherwise it will ultimately surface soon enough.

I refuse to hide behind the mask of i was abused therefore my behavior is justified( at least thats how i thought for a long time)

Thank you so much for your support throughout the drama i created although knowing in my gut i was wrong and knew i had to make it right,i did this and thank god i had the courage to accept whatever she said,did,as a result of my selfish behavior.

There are people ( my fiancee especially )who care for me and believe in me when i could not believe or care for myself.

I have all of you to thank only now i need to stay on the straight and narrow and continue to do the next right thing even when no ones looking.


" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "