the worst thing about the hospital was
**** TRIGGER WARNING *******

...when I had what they later called a seizure.....

& I was totally helpless........

And I couldn't control what was happening, or what people did to me.

being stripped down in the ER.

being "handled".

Getting a Foli tube shoved up my dick.

feeling all the pain of that & needles.

not being able to stop any of it no matter how hard i tried.

hearing them joke about my "situation".

them thinking a was conscious.......but I was....I just couldn't move.

Wanting to scream at them to stop & having no speech.

being Bathed, by hand, Everywhere I sure as hell didn't want to be touched.

screaming & crying on the inside, but no one could hear me.

they wouldn't understand me if they could.

they wouldn't know my terror.

I'm trying to describe it but my mind seems to want to stop.