I got a phone call from my mum, we have not spoken in a couple of years.
She told me that she would ring back with some news. I have sat here waiting for the call, not wanting to, i dont want to speak to her.
But something is holding me here.

I just got the phone call, had to get out of the house. She fucking dared to say she had been in touch with my stepdad, and he wanted to talk to me. I lost it and blew up on her, she knew this was happening but did nothing, until it was too late.
She told me to calm down and stop overreacting, as it happened years ago. and he is sorry.
Years ago i see and feel it everyday and when i close my eyes its there.
How could she talk to him.it that thing.

Sorry but this week everything has gone wrong, i feel like im overloading. Its a fucking mess.

Had to get it off my chest, god what a mess. The one time i try to sort myself out and all hell breaks loose. I feel like shutting down again and disapering into the shadows yet again.