...This is advice from a gay man who was married to a woman for 22 years...If this sounds harsh, I apologize. It's the truth as I see it, and I've been in your shoes. I was a model husband, but I put my wife through years of this shit, and it wasn't fair to her in any way. Don't use your CSA as an excuse to ruin your relationship with her. It doesn't have to be that way.
I appreciate your post. Yes, it was a tad harsh, but given the information I provided I can see why. But, you really haven't been in my shoes. I'm not gay. I am attracted only to women. As I said in the tail end of my post, I wonder what is triggering these episodes. Since they are sporadic in nature I can only come to the conclusion that some environmental or psychological cue precedes them.
I've never heard the acronym CSA. I had to look it up. I would never use it as an "excuse" for any behavior. That I do resent. However, looking at my behavior for clues as to *why* I may do something is only logical. In the end, I am responsible for what I do, true. That I do understand. But to pay attention to patterns, become aware of them, and do something to correct them it is not using it as an excuse.