For about the past year I have been in therapy struggling with some PTSD. My therapist has a wonderful mix of intelligence, compassion and is completely non-judgemental. I admitted to her about being repeatedly sexually and physically abused by two men and a woman over a period of several months while I was five years old and in daycare.
We have dealth with subsequent memories that have come flooding back into my brain and the fact that I have suffered through several flashbacks.
I still find it difficult and frightening to recount these unspeakable acts that were done to me more than 30 years ago.
Here's the situation. I am married and feel that I need to tell my wife about this. It's the only secret from my past that I have kept from her. But I am scared to do it. I'm afraid that somehow she will think differently of me if she knows. I also worry about falling completely apart while I tell her. Even today, when I dwell on the memories, I have severe anxiety attacks and even throw up sometimes.
I guess what I'm asking is if any of you can share with me how you told your spouse or SO about being abused? How did that person react? How did it change your relationship?
Thank you for your replies.