That's really hard to read. Why am I crying? Why do these perspective beast me so fkg hard???? This sucks!
It's rough when we begin to allow ourselves to feel again; we have bottled things up for so long that when we let our feelings out now they just flood us. In a way we are like kids trying to learn how to pour a cup of coffee - we just tilt the pot and it splashes out all over the place!
I guess the message here, Rob, is that though it hurts like hell this is all a part of the healing process. You aren't malfunctioning, my friend, you're doing just fine. You're keeping it real, and doing that can only help you.