You and I have a lot in common! It wasn't family that raped me but they wouldn't do anything to stop it! It went on for years, 100's of times! The abusers were older boys and men that are all gone now...they moved out, not me! I remember balled up in bed crying myself to sleep most nights too! It was living hell, these guys were always horny and I have no choice but I'm big now and if I wanted to I could find most of them...some are dead! I did watch a friend of mine kill one...didn't mean to ...just hit him in the chest with a full bear while riding in a car at 60 miles an hour...he didn't even know that he killed him but I did! I also shot a few of them myself didn't kill any but they all ran off! I know what hate is...real hate...guess you do to...anger and hate...heavy shit to deal with!!!! John maybe right about moving, I couldn't live near my abusers...would be thinking like you!...you or they have to go! Don't get yourself busted...you'll have the same thing happen to you again in jail...they are well trained at teaming up to sexually abuse new guys!!!! Get away for your wife, she doesn't need this hate in you...it will make you sick and run her away! God, I hope you peace!