Hey Guys,

I don't want to complain, but right now i'm just lonely. I've been trying to figure it out as i've sort of gone introspective and such. I just graduated on Friday. I am starting the clean up my apartment process where I get rid of tons of things. Perhaps its the move halfway around the world? Or perhaps its something deeper?

My whole life i've been the "good boy" - i'm the guy who does what he is supposed to, when he is supposed to - if not earlier. i'm bisexual. People don't get this and often pressure me to be either gay or straight. sometimes i find myself questioning this and i hate that, b/c when i step back and examine. I know I am.

I want someone who gets me. I'm scared of relationships b/c I don't wanna be hurt. I've read many of you alls posts. It is a risk, I want to take it, but am I ready? I hate the people who have used me in vial ways - who have taken advantage of me at vulnerable moments. Are there decent guys out there? Or will they all just try to use me. will anyone understand? Am I going to put my future spouse through hell b/c i'm messed up in the brain?

Ugh - I just want to cry.

"Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed."

- Corita Kent