my answer to the abuse - as the personality fell apart - at three -
was to discover ways to heal my parents - to protect myself to understand people and then to try and guide them to healing -
my mother never healed - and the abuse got worse -
i couldn't see any of it - but my therapist woudl say - 'it's like you've studied this stuff'
i could barely observe myself - he'd have to remind me...'that's you mark' -
it was bizarre -
my roommate patrick has been great though
he's really taught me a lot -
and accept a fight or too - as kind of fun actually -
in words that is..
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders
"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous