my answer to the abuse - as the personality fell apart - at three -

was to discover ways to heal my parents - to protect myself to understand people and then to try and guide them to healing -

my mother never healed - and the abuse got worse -

i couldn't see any of it - but my therapist woudl say - 'it's like you've studied this stuff'

i could barely observe myself - he'd have to remind me...'that's you mark' -

it was bizarre -

my roommate patrick has been great though

he's really taught me a lot -

and accept a fight or too - as kind of fun actually -

in words that is..

" not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous