Forgiveness is something I used to save ME.
Torturing yourself with past hurt is just feeding the guilt and all teh other emotions that can only hurt yourself.
Taking out their guilt on myself has taken toll on me, and not them so I chose to forgive.

My older brother mentally abused me for most of my growing years, and I constantly had to fight what he said about me to my friends.
I know he will never admit it, but he could not understand that I was my dads favorite son, only because I did everything in the house and even cooked the meals etc.

He knows how pathetic he was in the past, but I am prepared to forgive him, because he is not going to admit the abuse even though he knows he did wrong.
That is up to him, he cannot be the same man as me or my brother nor my sister who he also abused.

I could have got through sexual abuse if he had been a better brother and protect me rather than make me feel little.
When I was fighting SA in my head, I had no resources to deal with him calling me a queer at school, and all the other things he did to belittle me.

We need to congratulate the little boys who got you through, and not dwell on what could be,