today i faced some paranoia and also started to
look at the question of

connecting and making friends -

i am finding myself -

the good and the bad - the stronger and the insecure stuff -

and the acceptance - i don't really have the best expression

to convey this -

all i know is - i could see myself - in the pejorative -

like - i wish i were this - i would like to be something

nice or attractive - but

i think - we are a lot of things each of us.

we have many expressions -

i am finding - kind of - a personality space LOL

how weird - mark feels fluffy nice -

sharing time - (((hugs)))


I saw the Queen Mary 2 today - it was so freakin' huge -

I talked to an Englishman from Manchester who was there
(who said they beat liverpool in soccer today ste fyi
- he said to give you crap for that fyi)

but we watched the boat come in -

stunning - HUGE - we were awestruck - MASSIVE

and we talked of george bush - and england -

Prince Charles - the boat (150,000 tons big)

how it was built in Germany -

and each collection of people standing around
nearly - spoke a different language there -

there were fire boats spraying water sky high in celebration -

and band was going to play soon -

there were speed boats


helicopters - and jet skis flipping out!

even -- a small rainbow above - no foolin'

magic -

i am lucky - cause i have my friends from here inside

i can share it with them here - and there \:\)

and sort of stand on their shoulders -

or not - i can be me now \:\)

" not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous