A therapist once told me that people will tend to gravitate to whatever behavior is "familiar" even if that behavior is destructive.
Unfortunately, we who were SA as children may have been "anchored" in the behavior of sexualizing our needs and desires because those boundaries were crossed when we had no control over them.
Please try and check into a therapist - most will accept payment on a sliding scale. Even though their profession DOES pay the bills and put food on the table, the vast majority of them have chosen that life's work because they want to help people.
I also know that you are aware of the health risks of anonymous sex, but I think that it's important for you to have some self-talk when you feel the desire to remind yourself of the consequences. You can also make a conscious effort to tell yourself - that was then and this is now. I know that it may sound trite, but sometimes we get so caught up in the feelings and desires that we forget to use the rational side of our brains.
Finally, don't put yourself in situations that could prove tempting. Don't flirt with danger - in other words, if someone KNOWS that viewing pornography (for example) will cause him to act out the sexual fantasies, then it's not the best choice to add to the temptation by using porn.
If you still have any "weak moments" please feel free to PM me if you feel uncomfortable writing anything in an open forum.


There are no unresolved issues - they just didn't resolve themselves the way we would have liked. "Grinder and Bandler - Neuro-Linguistic Programming"