Mainly because we as survivors are learning many new skills, WE'RE learning them - they're not being imposed on us. And with that new experience comes the confidence to do just that, learn for ourselves and be our own person.
Part of that process is to become more independant, leave behind the values our abuse imposed on us and enjoy the freedom ( and responsibilities ) of making our own minds up,

What you wrote there is so true and such a keen insight into the process of recovering from the effects of sexual abuse.

In some ways there is a part of me that yearns for someone to impose a set of "rules" or "regulations" on me....of course, there is another part of me that totally rejects and hates any type of authority like that.

The idea of learning new skills, using them and acquiring new confidence is so much more real and I'm sure so much more healthy.

And I'm sure so much scarier....because it does mean that I am taking responsibility for myself and my actions....giving up the blame and the "he made me do it"...leaves me responsible for my own life....and that has scared the living shit out of me for a long time.

To read that great observation you made, has helped me realize how important it is that I continue to learn and grow....no matter how uneasy it makes me feel...

Thanks, buddy.

Your pal,

"Poke salad Annie, 'gators got you granny
Everybody said it was a shame
'Cause her mama was aworkin' on the chain-gang"

-Tony Joe White