Wow. Where do I start. If I'm not carefull, I can end up writing a book..or short story at least. I found this site while searching for a support group in my area for adult male survivors of sexual abuse. I stumbled here a couple of weeks ago and bookmarked it. These past few days have been exceptionally difficult for me and I am desperatly trying to find a place where I don't have to be afraid and ashamed anymore. So, where do I start. I've got to get this out to someone, to ease the pain that is my life if at least for another day. I experienced sexual, physical and emotional abuse as a child at the hands of people who were supposed to care for me. The person who was supposed to protect me, my dad, was not there. The person who was supposed to nurture me, my mother, allowed the abuse to happen. As an adult, I feel broken, incomplete, lacking. I'm a sex addict who hasn't been able to string together a more than a month of real abstinence from acting out. I'm a husband who is emotionally unavailable, and a dad who loves his son so much but can't give anything to his son. I am at the end of my roap. I want to leave. I want to die sometimes. I am overwhelmed and confused.I'm tired of the pain, shame and fear. I just want to belong.