I have never been on the chat room but I have been in the one on http://www.inceste.org and I can understand how helpful it can be.
At some point a few months back because of technical site problems the webmistress had to suspend it for a while. Someone with computer/internet knowledge set up a chat room on ICQ (protected by a specific code name). It was therefore outside the website but still private and safe.
It might be a solution to the problem.

Mitakuye oyasin ! We are all related !