Welcome Cave Dweller -and at the same time, sorry for what brings you here. Also, as we say in here, it's never too late to begin. I'm 63 and never told anyone , anyone, for about 50 years. On the outside, nice guy, funny, good student, got a degree, worked 40 hours a week while in college for 4 years and graduated. Social worker, married, state licensed chemical dependency/mental health counselor, married 36 years, kids, home, 3 cars. On the outside. On the inside - hurt, distant,untouchable,frightened, triggered, inept at deep connections, distant. My loving wife was confused, angry, hurt and sad. That's when I picked up the phone (it felt like it weighed 1,000 pounds) and made the first of man, many therapy appointments. That was 3 years ago. Am I healed? Not by a long shot, but I am better. Am I ever done? No, recovery is for life. However, I am better connected to my younger self, my adult self which in turn connects me better to my wife and children. I have tools now to work through the triggers and isolating factors. Ways to maintain when things suddenly spin out of control.
What I am making a feeble attempt at saying is - never give up. Never stop trying. If one therapist doesn't fit, locate the one that does. If one type of help or assistance doesn't help, keep trying other ones that will fit you better. Never give up.