sorry to hear about the panic attacks and bad dreams. those increased for me when i first started dealing with all the memories connected to the abuse. i am glad to say that as i dealt with them, the scary symptoms decreased in frequency and severity. it may mean that you need to avoid the distractions for a while and face it head on. i found MS a good substitute for some of my distraction tactics. so don't quit - keep on pushing through. it may get a bit worse for a while - but will eventually get better.
"the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues it can begin to feel commonplace and eventually acceptable."
- Alan Cumming, "Not My Father's Son"