this really spoke to me.
i love your description of the difference between falling and jumping.
reminds me of the takeaway i got from a memoir of a parental abuse survivor i read.
there is all the difference in the world between jumping and being pushed.
you've got to take back the power.
best wishes on your jump.
and here's hoping for a gentle landing.
How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....