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#462718 - 03/16/14 01:43 PM Re: Characteristics Observed In Male Sexual Abuse Vict [Re: jas4159]
pete1973 Offline


Registered: 01/02/14
Posts: 53
Loc: Ontario, Canada
I too can so relate to these, well most of them. In therapy I am finding an understanding of my sexuality and coming to terms with who I am sexually regardless of how much or little influence the abuse had on my sexual interests. I truly believe in the root of my sexuality and that I am truly bisexual and this is not a bi-product of the monsters that abused me. The re-victimization that I was putting myself through as some kind of punishment because of the guilt I felt was a result of the monsters but every day I work on letting the child and teen in me grow up and let them control my sexuality and curiosities and that control they gain eliminates the control those monsters had on me for the past 29 years.
I must admit though that it is a bit of a new struggle controlling these new innocent interests and slowly letting them into my life as all of these supressed feelings and emotions can be overwhelming and I have caught myself at times getting over excited sexually and the horny teen in me wants to be reckless and expose himself sexually to other women, literally, and I must constantly remind myself that there is a time and a place for this and publicly is not one of them.
So many milestones were missed and it can be overwhelming trying to hit them all so suddenly, I am really glad I have my therapist and counselor to guide me through this new journey and of course my loving and caring wife. I am sure lucky to have her in my life and her blessing to openly explore my sexuality with men and women in a safe and controlled way.

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#462828 - 03/18/14 08:44 PM Re: Characteristics Observed In Male Sexual Abuse Vict [Re: jas4159]
DrumRunner Offline


Registered: 02/06/14
Posts: 16
Loc: Massachusetts
Thank you for posting this, Rich! And thank you justplainme for your reframed version.

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#463135 - 03/25/14 01:42 PM Re: Characteristics Observed In Male Sexual Abuse Vict [Re: jas4159]
jas4159 Offline


Registered: 06/16/11
Posts: 472
Loc: New Hampshire
your welcome drumrunner. and thank you all.

it has been an interesting post.
_________________________
Thanks

Rich

https://justanothersurvivror.wordpress.com

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#507610 - 03/12/17 09:28 PM Re: Characteristics Observed In Male Sexual Abuse Vict [Re: jas4159]
jas4159 Offline


Registered: 06/16/11
Posts: 472
Loc: New Hampshire
.
_________________________
Thanks

Rich

https://justanothersurvivror.wordpress.com

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#507641 - 03/13/17 04:18 PM Re: Characteristics Observed In Male Sexual Abuse Vict [Re: jas4159]
Robert1000 Offline


Registered: 06/27/12
Posts: 434
I have a funny thought for you. I just read this post, and loved it. It really struck a chord with me. I often feel alone. Really lonesome. Scared. Weird. Different. Isolated. Angry. I have lots of obsessions. I have a terrible fear of intimacy coupled with a tremendous need for protection. The boundaries I have are all ones I've established as an adult. The passive-aggression. The withrdawal. It's all there....

And yet I'm extremely caring. Extremely empathetic. I have never been judgmental of others. I'm very accepting. I like to help people feel part of whatever group I'm in. I'm gutsy. I have an insane tolerance for pain. Basically, the only pain I don't like is the emotional kind. Physical pain is no bother. I certainly don't mind leading, but I'm also not hung up on it. Plus, I actually have pretty good boundaries today.

In other words, I feel so blessed that I've been able to transform the experiences of my life (including the traumatic abuses of my childhood and the many, many ensuing traumas and bullshit) into who I am today. I'm not defined by what happened to me. I am who I have chosen to become.

And I'm proud of that.

All of you have been important to me, too, and I want to thank you for it. Earlier today, I was feeling pretty bad. Pretty much in need of some connections. And this site has helped. I'll be back again soon, I'm sure.

Oh, and it's funny to me that I responded to this same original post several years ago. I had forgotten. And yet as I was reading the comments, I came across my own! From like three years ago!

Funny.

God bless you guys. Take care, and hold onto any piece of peace when you find it.

Bob

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#507741 - 03/16/17 10:52 PM Re: Characteristics Observed In Male Sexual Abuse Vict [Re: jas4159]
jas4159 Offline


Registered: 06/16/11
Posts: 472
Loc: New Hampshire
Robert your responce is nothing less than amazing. What an inspiration you are. Well said. And thank you.

Rich
_________________________
Thanks

Rich

https://justanothersurvivror.wordpress.com

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#507834 - 03/18/17 07:38 PM Re: Characteristics Observed In Male Sexual Abuse Vict [Re: jas4159]
LinEar Online   sleepy


Registered: 06/02/15
Posts: 261
Loc: USA
Thanks Rich, Ken, and justplainme....great posts and insight from all.
_________________________
Spotlight...get me out of this spotlight.

My silence is my self-defense.

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#507837 - 03/18/17 07:45 PM Re: Characteristics Observed In Male Sexual Abuse Vict [Re: jas4159]
Noname20 Offline


Registered: 03/17/17
Posts: 7
Loc: I live in america somewhere
My girl read that article and sent it to me she thinks the first 3 describe me. I think it's just a coincidence tbh. Genuinely its true anyhow basically.

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#508005 - 03/23/17 11:40 AM Re: Characteristics Observed In Male Sexual Abuse Vict [Re: jas4159]
payne Offline


Registered: 06/27/15
Posts: 64
Loc: USA
Denial of Vulnerability
Confusion Regarding Sexual Orientation
Confusion of Emotional Needs With Sex
Boundary Transparency
Poorly Defined Sense of Self

Are all true of me.

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#508063 - 03/24/17 01:02 PM Re: Characteristics Observed In Male Sexual Abuse Vict [Re: jas4159]
jas4159 Offline


Registered: 06/16/11
Posts: 472
Loc: New Hampshire
I also read mikes lew books and i have spoke with him on a few occasions. great guy, great book.

rich
_________________________
Thanks

Rich

https://justanothersurvivror.wordpress.com

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