First I will admit that I have been reading through this site for a couple nights now before I decided to write, and I am really nervous. Even though I went to counseling for a few years, I was just too embarrassed to share this with even my councilor.
It will probably help to know that I am was the only boy in my family, and I had one sister that is 2 years older than me, then two younger sisters that are 3 and 4 years younger than I was. My mom wasn't really sexual with me, but this is more about how screwed up she made my life. My mom seem to always have it in for me, and what made me decided to post this here was because of what she did and maybe there are other people that can relate to this.
My mom doesn't just spank me or ground me like most moms would do, but my mom always seem to be out to embarrass me somehow. I remember that when I was a young child I was not allowed to lock the bathroom door when I took a bath, and I remember my older sister and female cousin coming in and staring at me an laughing while I was naked. I would scream and holler for my mom, but she never came, and eventually my sister and cousin would leave. Of course after my bath I went to my mom and aunt to tell them what happen, but they just laughed and thought it was funny.
This went on every time my cousin came over, and as much as I begged my mom and told her what kept happening, she just acted like it was no big deal and would still not allow me to lock the door. I remember when I was a little older, that I didn't even bother to ask, I just went and took my shower and locked the door. My sister must have tried to come in and found out the door was locked because the next thing I know my mom is pounding on the door demanding that I unlock the door. Of course I didn't want any more of a punishment, so I had to do so, and i imagine it was only a minute or two later that my sister and cousin came in, pulled back the curtain and began gawking and laughing again.
I thought turn around was fare play, but when I tried to walk in on my sister and cousin, the door was locked and yet when I told my mom about this, her attitude was that they were girls and they need their privacy. I get so upset just thinking about this, and that someone how it was perfectly fine for them to have their privacy, but my was almost laughed at.
The other way my mom would punish me was by spanking me, however she always did this by making me pull down my pants and underwear before proceeding to spank me. I understand that a number of kids got spanked on their bare butts, but my mom would do this right in front of everyone. I will never forget that one time when my cousin was over that I was playing with her and my sister in my sister's bedroom, and I don't remember exactly what happen but I remember my sister and I getting into a fight and my mom came up the stairs yelling and very pissed off. When she got into the bedroom, my sister started telling my mom some story about how I started the fight, and right there in my sister's room, in front of both my sister and my cousin, my mom stripped my pants and my underwear down and started spanking me right in front of them. It wasn't bad enough to get a spanking right in front of them, but to almost be stripped naked while they watched is something that still makes me sick to my stomach all these years later.
I also recall one time getting a spanking in front of my whole family. I don't even recall what it was over, but I remember my mom yanking me up right in the middle of my family room and in front of my three sisters and my dad, and my mom made me pulldown my own pants for a spanking. I recall her yelling at me to pull my underwear down, but I was embarrassed and I just froze. I was scared but also so embarrassed at the same time, that I didn't know what to do and just froze. She kept yelling at me to pull them down, but I couldn't, and I think that just pissed her off more, then she yanked them down and began to spank the hell out of me. I remember being highly embarrassed and trying to face toward the wall so that I only had to expose my butt to my sisters, but my mom grabbed my arm and just began to blister my butt so hard that I couldn't stand still. I tried for the longest time to keep my other hand covering my private parts, but she just kept swinging until finally I couldn't stand it any longer and moved my hand around to try to stop from being hit by the belt. I was jumping around in a circle trying to avoid each swing of the belt, but my mom just kept blistering me until there was no doubt that everyone got to see every private part of me.
The worse time however was when my sister was having a party. I think it was my sisters 12th birthday and had a number of girls over for her birthday party, and of course like most boys, I had a crush on a few of them, and always wanted to hang out with them. But my sister didn't like this and began yelling to my mom about how I was bugging all the girls. My mom didn't spank me right there in front of all of my sisters friend but took me into the living room which was just around the corner, then began yelling at me to pull down my pants and underwear, which of course she fallowed with a spanking. Of course I don't think any of the girls saw this, but it was so embarrassing to know that my sister and all of her friends where in the very next room hearing me take this spanking. I know this is probably just my hang up, but it was so embarrassing to think that they new I was in the next room pretty much naked getting a spanking.
I get so angry when I think about this. I am not trying to say I was a perfect boy, but really what was she thinking be spanking me in the living room. Why couldn't she just have takin me to my bedroom, other than she wanted to humiliate me.
It wasn't that my sisters never got a spanking, but it seem like when they got their spankings, they were always allowed to get it in their bedroom. I never recall any of my sisters having to strip down in front of the family. I honestly think my mother did this to just me to make it worse on me and embarrass me.
This all kept going on until the year when I turned 13. The most embarrassing time however was when we were all setting in the family room watching TV and my mom asked me right in front of everyone if I was starting to get hair on my penis. Of course I was embarrassed to answer her, but she just kept going until she got a yes out of me. I think again she was just trying to humiliate me. I even recall her kind of getting a grin from this. I think she just thought this was funny. Then next she proceeds to tell me how when guys hit puberty that they have to be examined regularly or something can go wrong with your testicles and you won't be able to have a family some day. Then right there in the family room she wanted me to pull down my pants so that she could check me to see if everything was okay.
My dad didn't often step in to make her stop this sort of thing, but I begged my dad to help, and he finally agreed and told my mom to knock it off. Of course however she would not stop, so my dad finally told her to take me into me bedroom and check things, for which she got up to do so.
It was so humiliating to me that right there in front of all three of my sisters that my mom was talking to me about this, and that my sisters knew I was being taken down the hall to my bedroom so that my mom could make me drop my pants and expect everything. I can only imagine that if my dad was telling my sisters that they had to go down the hallway to strip so that he could put his fingers in their vagina's that they would be just as embarrassed.
Then once in my bedroom, my mom sat on the side of my bed and told me to take my clothes off. I tried to ask her if she just needed to see my penis and testicles, couldn't I just drop my pants, but she said no. Of course I think this was just another way for her to humiliate me and gain power over me. Then as I stand there naked, she makes me spread my legs apart as she fondles me just for a minute or so. Then she makes me turn around and bend over her knee. She spreads my butt cheeks apart and looks at me, like there was something she should be looking for. Then finally she tells me to stand back up, and as I try to get dressed, she tells me not to put my clothes back on and that she still needs to find out if I am having sex. Of course I was only 13 and completely embarrassed about this, but as I am standing naked in front of her she grabs my penis and begins to look it over and starts asking me all these questions, while the entire time she is kind of rubbing my penis. She really isn't even looking at my penis but keeps looking at me asking embarrassing question, I think just more of her way of humiliating me. Of course I assured her that I wasn't having sex, but then she wants to know if I was masturbating. I knew what masturbating was, but honest something I hadn't done yet, and this was not something I wanted to talk with my mom about.
My mom just sat there and kept asking me embarrassing question about if I ever look at dirty picture, or touched myself in ways that made me feel funny. All the while she just kept yanking and pulling on my penis. I began to feel a really strange sensation come over me, that at the time I didn't know what it was. I could just think I was going to pee and I tried to beg my mom to stop, and told her I had to go to the bathroom really bad, but she just kept it up until I couldn't control myself, for which of course I was having my first orgasm.
When I did cum, she didn't say anything. She didn't say sorry or try to pretend that it was a surprise to her, instead she just gets up, pats me on the butt and tells me to clean myself up. You would have thought this would have felt good having me first orgasm, but it is so humiliating when your mom does it to you that way, that you just want to crawl under a rock. I remember being so embarrassed to come out of my room because I was afraid she had gone back into the family room and told everyone what I had done. I found out years later that she never said anything to anyone as she knew it was wrong.
Needless to say this really skewed with me. My first time having sex wasn't until I was in my first year of college. Even today I think I still have hang ups because of the humiliation I suffered from this.