it does not sound like you are wasting time.
you are performing a valuable service to yourself.
nothing wrong with a good purge and cleanse every so often.
regular inventory is a healthy ritual.
in fact, i think i am long overdue.
wasting time is a matter of perspective.
rather than save time, i prefer to savour it.
time tastes good, one bite at a time.
i try to believe that wherever i am is exactly where i am supposed to be.
whatever i am doing, is exactly what i should be doing.
my fate is fixed far in advance by a long history of previous decisions and choices.
if i always do my best, with whatever i have in hand, i cannot consider time as wasted.
my best is whatever i am willing and capable of putting out at any given moment.
if i feel like it is time to change, i initiate change,
but i must endure the transition steps between stages.
if i am doing nothing, then nothing is needed.
that is time for contemplation, conversation, meditation.
fleeting moments of peace i find everywhere;
a standby at work, a smoke-break, a long red light, standstill traffic jams, drive-throughs, check-outs, line-ups, waiting rooms...
i have discovered in my daily routine, so many delays, that used to drive me crazy with impatience, are now golden opportunities to step outside the grinding thoughts of getting to the next commitment.
when one of these moments occur, i accept it as the natural result of all my previous decisions, and therefore i have earned that moment of rest. it is mine to embrace. i sit still in the eye of the hurricane, and watch the activity swirl around me, until it is my turn to jump back into the storm.
my wife considers me a bit dramatic or morbid, but i operate on the principle that every moment could be my last.
every decision is life or death, whether i realize it or not.
for example, a railroader colleague, while at work, stopped walking beside a moving train while doing a roll by inspection, all alone in the middle of the night, so that he could roll a secret smoke.
while standing there, the train derailed, and tens of tons of metal fell exactly where he would have been, had he continued moving in that direction.
he was about a boxcar's length from certain death or serious damage.
he says it was the best joint he ever had.
the existentialism vs. destiny was not lost on him.
voluntarily inhaling toxins is unhealthy.
smoking dope on a dangerous job is hazardous.
and yet, this time, it saved a life.
he could have stopped to tie his bootlace, or to urinate,
the result would have been the same.
every decision compounds.
when the stone has gathered too much of this moss,
it is time to roll.
a little loss of weight is needed when overcoming inertia.
lessening the load also helps when stopping momentum.
it's all about the physics of the psyche
when my computer gets corrupt, it's time to:
run scan, debug and antivirus.
backup the good files.
reformat the hard-drive.
reinstall a new operating system.
each new decision nudges you in a new direction,
altering your course by degrees, like a rudder on an ocean liner.
sometime the results take time to manifest.
so... stick with your current plan. modify as required. enjoy your time.
i don't know if any of this was helpful, or even relevant,
but your post inspired me to write all this.
"Hate comes from the past, fear from the future. Pain and pleasure are now...
You have to bring the feelings together, blend them, and step away from time."
~ Steven Barnes