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#451090 - 10/23/13 01:11 PM Re: Here is what not to do [Re: flightmedic38]
flightmedic38 Offline


Registered: 09/13/13
Posts: 79
Loc: Kansas
Braver men than I,
I don't ever want to see that house again!!!!!! Thanks for posting though it helps to know how other men deal......

Flight
_________________________
Either get to living or get to dying!!!!! Shawshank redemption

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#451114 - 10/23/13 07:47 PM Re: Here is what not to do [Re: flightmedic38]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3950
Loc: settling in the USA again
Flight -

last August i went back to the house and 2 schools where most of the abuse was done to me. i felt i was as prepared as i could be but wondered if i would be able to go through with it. i had been through about 20 months of pretty intense therapy and had brought support along on the trip - my very encouraging wife.

i was visiting my brother who still lives in the area and was leaving his place at the end of our visit - wondering if i should go back to the scenes or not - when i was suddenly seized by a compulsion to see it through. i felt like it was inevitable and i just HAD to do it. (i posted about it in another thread.) it was not easy but i did it - and in the process reclaimed some lost ground. i have felt much stronger since then - and the memories have lost a lot of their power over me.

for others it might be different - i think a lot of my positive outcome was in the preparation and timing.

i hope you will be able to overcome the effects of your experiences - whether you ever go back there or not. it may be enough to get to the point where you know you don't need to go back.

LEE


Edited by traveler (10/23/13 07:49 PM)
_________________________
"the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues it can begin to feel commonplace and eventually acceptable."
- Alan Cumming, "Not My Father's Son"

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#451120 - 10/23/13 09:04 PM Re: Here is what not to do [Re: flightmedic38]
flightmedic38 Offline


Registered: 09/13/13
Posts: 79
Loc: Kansas
Lee,
I am so happy for you.... I am pretty sure at this point that I will never ever go back to that place..But for some I am sure it is very Liberating......


Flight
_________________________
Either get to living or get to dying!!!!! Shawshank redemption

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#451149 - 10/24/13 01:07 AM Re: Here is what not to do [Re: flightmedic38]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England
I had found the place of my abuse on Google Earth some time ago. I studied it for hours, wanting to see every detail, remember everything facet. It was painful, but it was what I needed to do.
I have never gone back.
_________________________
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

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