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#441255 - 07/18/13 07:29 PM Hey Poorsoft, hows it going?
Poorsoft Offline

Registered: 02/20/13
Posts: 163
"Ah not so bad, I'm alright, how about yourself?" I say braisenly to whoever asks that fucking moronic question. Excuse my bitterness, but if I was to tell you; you would feel nothing but regret for asking.

This is my prerecorded response to everything. Even when I have something to say, I will still say this first.

But because of this prerecorded response, I don't know where to begin, so I shall ask myself through the power of the internet, with our lovely assistant; - ask me how I'm doing.

So Poorsoft, how's it going?

Originally Posted By: Poorsoft
Well to be honest bro, it's not going well. I am still here, still chipping away at my quarry of doubt and denial. I'm growing bored of playing this game. I want to stop and move on to something else, you know; like you normally do. But I can't, I think of nothing else. The very thought itself is infectious, it taints me from head to toe. I lay at night, fantasizing about putting myself in a situation where I would get assaulted, I trawl tirelessly through my mind, looking for something that will confirm that it was CSA. It can only be CSA that has occured, but the evasive fragments of my memories still persist in eluding me. As I said, I grow tired of this game. I guess smoking so much pot on a daily basis will do nothing but increase the paranoia and doubt. Whats worse is the insane card is something you're playing quite well, you convince those around you by your extreme eccentricity, but are let down by the innevidble mood swings. People know somethings up, you're taking risks you never would before, all you think about is the prospect of the death. I am wrapped in self hatrid and love nothing but to loathe at my existance. Its tiring thing to do, but you have your reasons.

If you dont remember something soon, I fear for what actions you will take. I fear for you because you do not fear for yourself. I still love you and I'm still here. Don't forget about me man.

#441257 - 07/18/13 08:49 PM Re: Hey Poorsoft, hows it going? [Re: Poorsoft]
victor-victim Offline

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6387
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
this is crazy.

i woke up this morning in exactly the emotional state you describe in your quote.

i came to the MS.O forum to find something to cheer me up, maybe read some upbeat and positive posts to improve my mood.
usually i wander through the poetry forum.
instead i found my feelings mirrored in honest detail in your post.

after the initial instinctive shock of recognition, quickly followed by an attempt to avoid indentifying with my own negative state, i had to admit i am not doing so well.
today, and in some way, every day.
the damage is done, the denial continues.
your post allowed me to acknowledge my own bad feelings clearly, without that fear of being overwhelmed by them.
but the irony of the situation was not lost on me, and i just enjoyed a good laugh at our expense. no offense.
i wonder if that counts as cheering up?

anyway, i appreciate what you shared.
thanks for ringing my bell.



#441278 - 07/18/13 11:21 PM Re: Hey Poorsoft, hows it going? [Re: Poorsoft]
concerned_husky Offline

Registered: 08/30/12
Posts: 766
Originally Posted By: Poorsoft
I fear for you because you do not fear for yourself. I still love you and I'm still here. Don't forget about me man.

Keep listening to that voice.

"Only the solitary seek the truth, and they break with all those who don't love it sufficiently." - Pasternak

#441367 - 07/19/13 06:27 PM Re: Hey Poorsoft, hows it going? [Re: Poorsoft]
bodyguard8367 Offline

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""

Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 10:38 PM)


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