Hello Giby, welcome to Male survivor!
Well you know there is always so many similarities in survivor's stories that is sometimes striking.
When something happen like you said "out of blue" that lead us to do something damaging or self destructive even if that means reading something like those ads or going into chat there is always some process behind that drive us.
Some of us do something much more damaging like taking drugs, drinking heavily, looking for anonymous and risky sex, betting, the list could be very long.
For me personally it is all about porn addiction and I know that some situations could trigger some very hurtful and negative emotions that are left buried deep inside as scars of my past. So I have to be careful as those "scars" could activate those drives if I'm under stress, felt lonely/isolated and similar.
Here is very good article about overall process that is set behind: http://www.malesurvivor.org/ArchivedPages/singer2.html
Please read it carefully and give it some time to get to some answers.
Beside all this, please be careful when discussing personal problems like abuse is with other people. Sometimes talk about traumatizing experiences we should avoid no matter even if others would be interesting to hear it. It is very sensitive theme and we should be very careful with it. We all are unfortunately too fragile, our spouses/partners are easily lost focusing on our survivor's problems and taking care of our issues, sometimes even showing codependent traits and we survivors at other side could be self-destructive and wanting isolation form others. Such dynamics can be very difficult to manage and could bring pain to all side involved even if all would have only good intentions. So plain talk about traumatizing situations for me is not something that should be done recklessly as many monsters could start jumping around to say it like that.
So you are at good place to learn more about it. There are many stories and topics that could be very useful for reading. Also take care for yourself while here and if there is something that could be too much please take some pause and try to avoid pushing yourself.
One more time welcome!