Hi Bardo. I read your post. I'm sorry you had to go through some of the things you went through with your family. If you don't mind my asking, are you still going to therapy and/or to any kind of support group? Also, you say you've been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Do you believe this diagnosis is correct? If not, do you believe that you have a mental illness? I'm not saying whether I think you do or don't, I want to know what you think. If you do believe that you are schizophrenic, are you taking any medication? I ask because I had an aunt who was diagnosed schizophrenic and I know that her medication helped her greatly for years, although I do not know what type of medication she was on. Sadly, she passed away from lung cancer earlier this year due to years of smoking over three packs a day.
Anyway, good luck with your situation. I hope you find the serenity and inner peace you're looking for. Take care. Peace,