Newest Members
mmm coffee, Calibre09, FallGuy2154, Whoamitoday, Joe4618
13527 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
anon_wife (37), Chilly Willy (57), FC (57), JHB1976 (41), malitovsky1 (63), Roofus (46), Sara L. (35), TexasCowboy (55), toni (62)
Who's Online
1 registered (betrayed boy), 72 Guests and 3 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,527 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,364 Topics
491,395 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Topic Options
#432977 - 04/30/13 07:42 AM Do people have a right to die?
Mel Navigar Offline

Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 16

This is Mel, a survivor back then. I am thankful for being able to breakaway from the experience of being abuse but now being faced by a situation wherein i almost wanted to take my life for some people are trying to make me feel hopeless.

No one can tell you not to die, because I am sure if they were in my position and could not do anything then they would think of it too. No one's the same in life, some people are stronger than others.

And yes, these people that makes me feel hopeless are obviously stronger than me.

Sometimes, being in the position of having no option to survive leads you to the option of just taking your life.

And yes, I wish someone could help me understand what was happening in my life


#432978 - 04/30/13 08:25 AM Re: Do people have a right to die? [Re: Mel Navigar]
peroperic2009 Offline

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3856
Loc: South-East Europe
Hi Mel and welcome to Male survivor!
I'm sorry to hear about your situation and I hope you'll find strength to protect yourself from abusive environment.
We are here to give support to each other. There are many resources offered to us at this site by which is possible to gain a lot in our healing journey.
Please take some time to learn about this site and to see what suites you the most.

We have to learn to draw clear border toward people around us in way to be protective to ourselves. Unfortunately due do our past many times we are fragile and vulnerable and that is the reason why we need to build support network to get stronger.
I hope you have some friends or family members around that are supportive and with whom you could talk when feel need?
In any case you are at right place to share your burden and to get some support.
You are not alone!

My story

#433016 - 04/30/13 02:50 PM Re: Do people have a right to die? [Re: Mel Navigar]
cant_remember Offline

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1070

Welcome to MS. We're sorry you're here, but glad you found us.

Many of us survivors here struggle with thoughts of suicide, myself included. But no one here is going to give you permission to kill yourself.

You are here to survive.

I'll be just fine and dandy
Lord, it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But I won't let sorrow get me way down.

#433029 - 04/30/13 04:21 PM Re: Do people have a right to die? [Re: Mel Navigar]
dark empathy Offline

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2687
Loc: durham, north england
Hi Mell and welcome to ms.

One thing does occur to me. Your hear, on a board called male surviver who's intent is, as cant said "survival"

The fact that you have! come hear says to me your likely stronger than you think you are, and certainly stronger than any negative people think you are as well.


#433034 - 04/30/13 04:38 PM Re: Do people have a right to die? [Re: Mel Navigar]
bodyguard8367 Offline

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""

Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 04:13 AM)

#433042 - 04/30/13 05:16 PM Re: Do people have a right to die? [Re: Mel Navigar]
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England
Hey Mel,

Of course people have a right to die, but thats not the point. My own experience with suicide a attempt was one of desperation, to just escape the pain. But I've learned the pain is there for a reason: A broken leg hurts, and so does sexual abuse! Pain tells us something is damaged and needs healing. The only way out is through it, and there is daylight on the other side.

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

#433072 - 04/30/13 09:35 PM Re: Do people have a right to die? [Re: Mel Navigar]
Publius Offline

Registered: 03/13/12
Posts: 444
Loc: OH
People have a right to live. By that I mean to communicate the fact that you have the right to live with hope, without fear, and secure in the knowledge that you are actually as strong if not stronger than those you deem your superiors. I know right now it sounds like rhetoric and basically this is true at least until you start experiencing it. In the mean time I encourage you to post and read up on this site as much as you feel is necessary.
"Life is like this dark tunnel. You may not always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you keep moving, you will come to a better place." ~ General Iroh

#433154 - 05/01/13 04:59 PM Re: Do people have a right to die? [Re: Mel Navigar]
csasurvivor1992 Offline

Registered: 03/25/13
Posts: 132
Loc: Texas

You are courageous for expressing this thought to us here. I'm fairly new to MS as you are, and I know it takes courage to share those things buried deep in your mind... thoughts you are afraid to voice, or type... or share.

You are strong... you're post is a plea for help. I hope that you'll read these replies and allow the help. That is your choice, your right.

I understand your feelings of hopelessness, despair, not comparing well to others.

Please let me say that standards are individualized... individualized for every person and the experiences they've had. For what you experienced, you are probably doing better than you can even imagine. You're alive. You're reaching out for help.

You're a survivor.

You're right, different people have different traits. I suspect we see other traits in people that we don't see in ourselves. The world sees us as people and will give us that respect, until they see that we don't respect ourselves. Our reflection in the mirror is ugly and unworthy.

But that's not true... Remember the movie Shallow Hal? He saw beautiful women through their personalities. Looks, both external and internal, can be deceiving. You are stronger than you think you look. The image in the mirror through your mind's eye is deceiving you. And that's normal. That's normal because we have all been fitted with the lenses of abuse. The lenses of abuse distort our vision of ourselves, of others, of the world in general. That's normal.

Mel, you are a normal man, just as strong, IF NOT STRONGER, than anybody else. These people that you allow to make you feel hopeless... I think they may not understand you. Maybe set a boundary and take them out of your life for awhile. Surround yourself with people who will listen and understand you.

Do this because you deserve to live, and to live happily.

I've felt the warmth of the sun on the other side of recovery. I know it's real, I've felt it. Living my life free of shame, of guilt, of self-loathing, of constant worry. Living my life loving myself. I know it's real, I've begun to feel what recovery can feel like. It has taken time and I'm nowhere near complete, in fact I've only really just begun. But it's real and I know it.

Find peace, know you're worthy of love and happiness, and fight like hell to get it. We've got your back. Whatever you need.
May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground, carry on. ~Fun.

#433157 - 05/01/13 05:21 PM Re: Do people have a right to die? [Re: Mel Navigar]
Chase Eric Offline

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 2826
Hey, Mel -

Think about the times things seemed hopeless in the past. Think about the times you held on, and they got better. And when the moments get real dark, it seems like it can't get better, but it does. You just need to hang in there.

Trust me on this. My best friend from the time I was ten - my brother in every sense but blood - made the decision to experience his right to die. I learned a lot from his death, now ten years ago this month. I am not just a survivor of boyhood sexual abuse, I am a survivor of my best friend's suicide. When you make that decision, you make it for everyone around you. And they live with it forever.

It has nothing to do with being strong. It has to do with hanging in there long enough to see it through, to see the light start to shine at the other end. And the truth? That light comes - even if you are too weak to make it happen. It comes to you. I promise.

It's a dark, painful patch. But you don't need strength. You just need patience.


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.