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#432151 - 04/23/13 02:57 PM Introducing myself
BHAfan Offline

Registered: 04/21/13
Posts: 1
Loc: UK
Hi everyone,
BHAfan here. I'm 58 years old, been married 35 years, with 2 grown up children. Whem I was 8 years old I was sexually abused be my male cousin, then at 13 sexually abused by a near neighbour. These events have been kept secret by me because they told me to, till about 5 months ago. I told my wife after having to admit to an affair and several years of visiting prostitutes, and getting into huge debt.
I hope whilst here I may be able to help other survivors and /or their families, and need help to process whats happened to me. Up to this time I'm unable to be angry about the abuse. The only time I get angry is on the road, as in road rage.
My wife has stuck by me.
In these last months I have learnt about triggers and coping mechanisums.
I am undergoing therapy. Coming out about the abuse has been a great relief, but I didnt realise that so many others had suffered sexual abuse and that my past actions can be attributed to it, although if I had been able to talk to my wife or anyone else about it, life may been very different.
No doubt I will chat to some of you soon.
Regards to you all

#432155 - 04/23/13 03:15 PM Re: Introducing myself [Re: BHAfan]
BuffaloCO Offline

Registered: 07/14/12
Posts: 490
Welcome to the site BHAfan. You will find a lot of good people and resources here. I joined last July and this place helped me to start sorting stuff out, till I could get into T (therapy). It can bite as a process, but we can move forward too with the help of others who actually get us, even sometimes for me when I don't get myself. Again, welcome Brother!
�We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.� - Plato

#432167 - 04/23/13 05:00 PM Re: Introducing myself [Re: BHAfan]
SonOfaSoldier Offline

Registered: 04/21/13
Posts: 15
Loc: Minnesota
Welcome! I'm new as well, but from what I've seen here it looks like a cool place with friendly people.

It takes a lot of strength to open up about abuse, especially to those close to us. By finding that strenght, you've already got a good head start.
If you cannot overcome the current, then let the current take you. Only one certainty is sure, that the future is unknown. the river may be harsh, but still obeys Life's laws. The rest is up to you

#432266 - 04/24/13 02:31 PM Re: Introducing myself [Re: BHAfan]
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: BHAfan
Coming out about the abuse has been a great relief, ........and that my past actions can be attributed to it, although if I had been able to talk to my wife or anyone else about it, life may been very different.

Welcome BHA!

Yes coming out is both a relief and taking on a burden that sometimes seems impossible. But there are many of us here prepared to help with the load. So much of my own bad choices in life I now understand are the result of my CSA. I also sometimes wonder, "what if...." but there's no use going down that road. We have to deal with life on life's terms, and that means facing EVERYTHING. But what a blessing that your wife has stuck with you. Some of us were not so lucky. Be well, and stay in touch. We've got your back.

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

#432364 - 04/25/13 01:14 PM Re: Introducing myself [Re: BHAfan]
bodyguard8367 Offline

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""

Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 04:04 AM)


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