I don't know you or your husband. I don't know any of the problems, pass or present. But I do not think anybody should be hurting and mistreated for any reason whatsoever

Having cleared that up. I'd say separate from him. Not out of pain or revenge but cause his treatment of you is a violation of the friendship and love you both should have for each other in your relationship. I think it's important to address the importance of being united in a safe, healthy, and respectful environment and because it isn't then separation is the only answer now. Maybe a agreement to seek couple therapy together in the future if there's any hope for reconciling

I think it's very important not to bring up reasons in details since he should know where his issues are. If he wants it to work. I don't see why he'd not make efforts to make it work. I had a cheater bf in twelfth grade. I walked to him and the alleged lover in the cafeteria. I told him that I'm not dating him no more. He asked me why and I told him that I'm worth something to someone. Maybe not you (I said to him) but someone. He did try after that to get me back. But I realized how hurt he made me. So I finally decided his honest efforts to work it out was worth the fwb status

But being in the place to take his right to violate my trust and stuff away is so rewarding. I know it's not a married thing but it's the only related thing I can share about this.

Hope it was a little helpful miss.