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#478388 - 03/05/15 01:47 PM Re: My Long Story Made Short (As Possible). [Re: BraveFalcon]
Jak Offline

Registered: 07/18/13
Posts: 9
Bravefalcon, thank you for sharing your story with us. I can identify with some of what you went through. Although I was never abused physically in the ways you were. Still mentally I have gone through the shame and humiliation part from being called pantie waist, and sissy boy and queer bait by my cousins and my dad.
That kind of drove me to seek out same sex relationships, although I do identify myself as a bi-sexual I seem to enjoy same sex stuff as much as I do heterosexual relations.
I, like you, also do not fully understand this "recovery" thing I am damaged goods too and although I have been married for over 25 yrs. I must say I haven't a clue what it means to love another person even my wife. That is sad and grieves me a lot but there is nothing I can do about it, it is what it is.
So just wanted you to know I hear ya brother hang in there and maybe someday we will know what recovery is.
When you die, where will you spend eternity?

#478610 - 03/08/15 05:54 PM Re: My Long Story Made Short (As Possible). [Re: cuda]
intochange Offline

Registered: 02/13/15
Posts: 74
Loc: Ithaca, NY
Man, I empathize. Your father was most certainly an abuser. Incest is abuse. Was he also a substance abuser? Secrets coming empowering for me. Your courage and your fear are palpable. Male survivor groups and individual therapy are my process now. I'm deep in the swamp in me, but I am getting help, so I have a glimmer of hope. Look for the glimmer that we are born with. Delightful, inquisitive, beautiful, creative, spirited; all of that is inside me I know it. But getting it out is so so hard. My defenses are 58 years old. CPTSD...father physical and psychological abuse and substance abuse, priest repeatedly at 8 1/2. Left my body, and sometimes I still do. But, I am learning how to put my feet on the ground, figure out what the trigger is and bring my anxiety level down enough that I can call someone or just move on.

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