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#426866 - 03/01/13 09:08 PM Re: Husband's affair [Re: Jemma]
Shawushka Offline

Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 128
Loc: VA
Whenever I have sex with him now it brings up all these feelings of hurt and betrayal, despite the fact that he claims if it wasn't for the abuse he would never had done any of it.

Rationale thoughts and emotions sometimes exclude each other and can be the total opposite of each other. My spouse had quick hook-ups, and visited prostitutes which is something that I can deal with - in the context of his csa. In my opinion his csa also made him vulnerable to remain in a very unhealthy relationship, one that he (in a platonic way/no intimacy involved) carried on after we were already married. He prioritized that woman and ignored my needs.
Even though I do try to see that also in the context of his csa, that kind of betrayal and the lies that came with it were the worst and still affect me today.

Don't forget to take good care of yourself, like the previous poster advised.

#427169 - 03/05/13 08:30 AM Re: Husband's affair [Re: Jemma]
Jemma Offline

Registered: 02/12/13
Posts: 22
Loc: England
Thanks Shawushka, its getting better. We're talking a lot, mostly he talks about the abuse, but also about how its linked in to his behaviour and he's able to recognise connections.

I've come to realize that you have to be a very strong woman to be with a man that's been abused, but they're worth it.

Jemma x

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