Lately I've been getting angry really easy, and irritated and frustrated a lot. I'm not exactly sure why, but it seems like some sort of phase. I'm not sure what triggered this phase, but I feel like I'm kinda mean to the people around me lately, well my mom and dad.
I'll try and analyze why it is I'm so angry. I've been reading books like The courage to heal workbook, Victims no longer, and such, and it just shows me how much I have to be angry about. Most specifically my family. I'm hoping this anger is good, because it is the sort of anger where an inner voice is saying, no I won't be silent anymore, I am not going to be complicit, I have a voice and I'm going to use it. But at the same time, I don't want to hurt my parents, which is a touchy topic because I have a mountains worth of reasons to be angry at them, but at the same time I know they love me and I need them right now.
What can I do with my anger? I've always been afraid of it, because I don't think I can control it. If I let myself say what I really want to say I'll ruin relationships, and if I give into the physical aspect of anger I might scare people or damage things in my house. I don't want to turn my anger inward because that doesn't work, I know it. Sometimes I just want to scream at the top of my lungs, but I don't because my parents with think I'm crazy. How do I deal with this anger? How do I let it out? Is it a good thing I'm finally feeling anger from the abusive situations of my past? Sexual, physical, and emotional.
"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein