number one
I have no reason,
love held dear.
For my treatment
leave me be so left,
Not for warmth around me
my friends retreat.

I fend for myself.
Cannot comprehend my own journey
and all I need or want
is for it to end.

number two

Be it my time to follow a path,
fraught and seldom travelled no where to lark.
This be the consequence beyond my finger,
hast not arrived until a gathering strength knocks me from my ascent.
That has changed my vision.

I begrudge that man to a demise
for unfit for life he has form.
Sucked me into his bleak outlook.
Crash me now for then it is quiet.

number three

when does my mind return to my duties,
instead wanders, paces, thirsty for new meaning.
My time is no productive value,
reconcile my future with my past
and achieves no yearn for moving on so quick.
Slump has developed beyond a blip.

Carry me now only with anger and glaze.
I have little forthcoming,
enough is all I crave.

number four

Cycle of shame and no product
strive to be a fair reflection,
but really come here in chipped stand.

Until I speak my emotion is not riled
anger, resentment that has no question.
My reaction stumbles to clear my walls
for my masculinity has been misplaced
kept by one who should not desire its state,
but he decides and that is done.
But when my time is upon us
he cannot run,
strike him with all my being,
A decade in the making.

Go now and let myself be shown
I have no love thrust upon this place
greed and seldom free will
but it matters not
I died a decade too soon.

number five

water is the drink I take
just to stare at my own urine.
Collect it and discard soon after
rituals seem calm,
and predictable is fair.

For my way is shown to no other
but when it all became too much.
I shared burden,
trying to find others to contain my unease
but all I found was empty faces.
For their hearts do not want my fear
so I will go no further with them.
Be my life a grand mishap.
I will never wish for more
as the hurt my brothers silence gave.