i think the bottom line is - IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT. even if you had walked down the street nude with a sign on your back that said "rape me" - it would not have been your fault! whoever the perp(s) was (were) is (are) the one(s) to blame - and probably only he (they) can answer your question.
but - availability or accessibility is probly a big factor. if there were other boys who were equal to you in that circumstance, then it may have been a matter of who was most vulnerable, most insecure, most needing attention, least likely to resist or tell, least likely to have a protector or defender. some perps even have a favorite age, type and appearance they look for.
Perps can sense who is an easy target. i had no father and craved attention - i was sheltered and naive, i was physically weak, i was shy, lacked self-confidence, had a poor self-image, and i was a loner - so i was easy to pick off.
so there may be many reasons - but the FACT you need to ACCEPT, KNOW, BELIEVE and HANG ON TO is - IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!
(and don't feel bad - we ALL go through this!)
Edited by traveler (10/08/12 11:59 PM)
Edit Reason: sp
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"