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#149669 - 04/08/07 11:04 PM Problems
recover Offline
New Here

Registered: 04/08/07
Posts: 17
I would like to know if anyone has experienced not being able to achieve orgasm as a male - and what they have done to improve this.


#149713 - 04/09/07 01:17 AM Re: Problems [Re: recover]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

Many survivors experience this and it's of course related to their abuse issues. But those issues can be of many kinds, so it's difficult to answer you in detail. But I can tell you that when I was 16 (abuse ended at 14 for me) and had my first opportunity for sex with a girl, the thought running through my head was "This is what Mr **** does; now I'm going to be the same as him." Needless to say, nothing further happened that night.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#149716 - 04/09/07 01:24 AM Re: Problems [Re: roadrunner]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821

This could also be a side-effect of some anti-depressants, most notably Wellbutrin. Wellbutrin is sometimes prescribed for premature ejaculation as well as depression. When I was on Wellbutrin, it was almost impossible to achieve orgasm. Sounds great for extended sexual activity, I know, but after an hour or so it is quiet frustrating. After stopping taking it, it takes a couple of weeks to fully get out of the system as well.


#149721 - 04/09/07 01:38 AM Re: Problems [Re: EGL]
WalkingSouth Offline

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16270
Loc: Waldport, Oregon
Wellbutrin is also often prescribed because of it's relatively low rate of sexual side effects. In fact it was the only drug that worked for me in that regard so I was thankful for it!.

At any rate what Eddie says is true, although if I read another of your posts correctly the individual you are asking about is not seeing a therapist and probably therefore is not on and antidepressant. I would say if you are indeed asking about the same individual, that he has some real difficulties with associating his rape with current sexual activity and that is more than likely the issue with him. In other words when he tries to engage in sex, his mind goes right back to his rape and even tho he may maintain an erection, he has difficulty getting aroused enough to achieve orgasm.

Inexpert advise of course.


"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy Shit! What a ride!'" ~Hunter S. Thompson

#149757 - 04/09/07 03:55 AM Re: Problems [Re: WalkingSouth]
stride Offline

Registered: 03/07/03
Posts: 202
Loc: B.C. Canada
Hi recover,

Welcome to the site.

[Possible Triggers?] For what it's worth, my off-again, on-again bf of the past 6 years has suffered from ED (erectile dysfunction) since before I knew him (he's 46) and more recently has had increasing problems with "delayed ejaculation," or an inability to orgasm altogether, even when masterbating. He was sexually abused as a child by his father for years and has never sought help for his issues with that. He now takes Cialis for his ED (though I believe his troubles in that area arise more from his CSA issues, as well as his weekly drinking binges than anything).

Anyway, while ED is one of the most common sexual dysfunctions afflicting men with drinking problems, men with psychosexual issues & conflicts, and some men as they age, troubles reaching orgasm is a much less common problem among men. Apparently, it's actually quite rare to find men who have this problem on any kind of regular basis.

From everything I've read, more than 90% of the time problems with delayed ejaculation are believed to be psychological in origin and can be very difficult, though not impossible, to treat. Having said that, it is also true that some anti-depressants, certain psychotropic drugs and assorted other pre>
In the right formation,
the lifting power of many wings can
achieve twice the distance of any bird flying alone.

#149921 - 04/10/07 12:09 AM Re: Problems [Re: stride]
recover Offline
New Here

Registered: 04/08/07
Posts: 17
There is no medication issue and it is a result of the abuse. I just feel so bad about this. I too have my own issues and know how distressing this must be. For a man, who has to "perform" it must be worse. This post made me upset to read. From my thoughs, it would have to remind them of the abuse, as it does for me. Is there a possiblity to get past this - does anyone have postive stories?



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