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#9285 - 06/27/05 11:47 AM .
Soccer Kid Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/04
Posts: 273
Loc: Missouri


_________________________
~Zach~
Deviant of Many Talents

"Reality is just an illusion."

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#9286 - 06/27/05 04:16 PM Re: .
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1986
Loc: Flint, Michigan
Even writing the letter and NOT mailing it is a healing excersize.

Read Ken Singer's article Disclosure and Confrontation: Considerations for Survivors . It'll provide you will a lot of information.

_________________________
Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

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#9288 - 06/28/05 12:21 AM Re: .
Soccer Kid Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/04
Posts: 273
Loc: Missouri


_________________________
~Zach~
Deviant of Many Talents

"Reality is just an illusion."

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#9289 - 06/28/05 02:57 AM Re: .
RICK57 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Loc: ENGLAND
I wrote a 15 page statement of complaint about my abuser with the support of a Police witness. My abuser has now read it & will be hearing more of it in Court.

Not quite the same as writing a letter and posting it, but he got the message - I mean business!

Not sure what the legal implications are of sending a letter direct to an abuser?

Best wishes ...Rik

_________________________
*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

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#9290 - 06/28/05 07:53 AM Re: .
cat4527 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/16/05
Posts: 51
Loc: Annandale, VA.
Yeah, a letter bomb.
rik


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#9291 - 06/28/05 09:01 AM Re: .
BT Offline


Registered: 06/25/03
Posts: 388
Loc: Chicago IL
letters are great... I tried to write one so many times over so many years, but never got it the way I wanted it...

And I remember still a wonderful moment when I was in the middle of another letter and I stopped, sighed, and said to myself...

These guys are not worth any more of my time..
To hell with em...

I never wrote anymore letters, but they served their purpose...they got me to the point of taking back control of my life.

So write away... You will know if you ever need to mail something...sometimes guys need to...sometimes not...

All my best,
Brent.

_________________________
"Everyone is entitled to their opinions and it is not my job to change their mind." Dali Lama

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#9292 - 07/03/05 03:48 PM Re: .
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
SoccerKid,

I wrote a letter to my abuser. Posted it here shortly after joining. Mailed it to him several days after that. It was not short and sweet like Jasper's. I think I still have a copy of it on my other computer.

It was a powerful thing, for me. Because it was the first step of confrontation. Several weeks after the letter, he and I, we had occasion to be in the same place at the same time. And for the first time in years, upon seeing him, I did not unthinkingly take a step back. I kept moving forward. That was quite powerful as well.

As Bill said, even writing it out and NOT sending it can be powerful and healing. As for the other boy as well, that one I am not so sure of. It is tricky issue, whether to speak or not speak. Perhaps he is in denial, or has blocked out what happened. But perhaps he is scared, and hoping someone will help him to open up. It is a very hard thing to know how to act on. I will leave it to brighter minds then mine to give advice on that one!

Good luck.

Leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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