In my post "Childhood Hero" Victor said this in one of the many replies ( thank you all )
QUOTE] my last overt SA having occured at age 11, driving me into rebellion & trouble.
Of course I was troublesome & rebellious enuf before then; however my abuse did start when I was 2 or younger.
But it was after this rape at age 11 that I started having trouble in school with skipping & grades slipping. Also shoplifting, getting into more fights (that didn't involve protecting my brother--who, interestingly, had already been institutionalized by this time
), staying out past city curfew--in addition to the substance
abuse, sexual escapades & other stuff that my mother actually got me into! :rolleyes:
After I left school and the abuse stopped I calmed down again, although I was very rebelious ( still am a bit ) and had little regard for authority ( still don't ! )
When the abuse stopped & I was in the children's home, I didn't get into any more trouble really; tho not much less, restrained tho I was by the restrictions of the home.
What I did was pretty much give up on myself, on trying to make anything of myself; I gave up dreaming & hoping.
Meanwhile I continued to be very rebellious if more restrained, and very resentful of the authorities at the home & at school that restrained me.
My grades went into a total tailspin after being an A student most of elementary school. My behavior became even more destructive, sabotage of
myself and of any relationships I started into.
I just didn't care--least of all about myself!
The trouble I was in at the time was serious enough to get me caned regularly, and one time I remember the headmaster telling me that he would have expelled me but it was only about a week until I left the school anyway. ( I'd thrown a teachers bicycle in the river, got caught smoking and stealing all within a week :rolleyes: )
Dave, bro, we were a couple of naughty boys, weren't we?! :rolleyes:
We didn't have canings we had paddling, with big wooden boards that whistled thru the air as I waited with my hands on the desk, the paddle lifting my arse up off the floor sometimes as the huge assistant principal or the "enforcer" at the children's home administered my punishments.
I got caught smoking at the home & at school, as well as fighting several times, for which I was often paddled and/or restricted to the cottage or to my room. I also got caught going into girl's rooms, which got me more & worse of the same; I spent virtually a whole summer restricted to my room except going to church--big whoop but at least it got me out!
Twice I ran away; the second time, in my senior year of high school, I came very close to being put into juvenile detention. Instead they put me in the temporary emergency cottage, "on probation," where I stayed pretty much until I graduated & got outta there.
Maybe I was hoping someone would ask "why ?" - but who knows ?
Maybe I was too. Definitely I was seeking attention. Boy did I get it!
Anyone else go through this ?
Bro, I'm still a fairly rebellious son of a gun and I still have some issues with authority.
But we've both come a long way, haven't we?
Besides, this world needs a few "rebels with the right kind of cause"; and sometimes that seems to make inevitable some clashes with misguided & even abusive authorities.
So you threw a teachers' bike in the river?!
It was the teacher who abused you, I hope?!