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#8728 - 04/08/06 01:55 AM Enraged (Triggers)
Bill_h_pike Offline

Registered: 05/26/05
Posts: 67
Loc: USA

#8729 - 04/08/06 02:26 AM Re: Enraged (Triggers)
reality2k4 Offline

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6845
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...

too tired to post right now, get back tomorrow
on this subject k,


Have to rest

Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

#8730 - 04/08/06 03:02 AM Re: Enraged (Triggers)
JediKnight Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 04/05/06
Posts: 6

You definitely made the right choice to come forward. If you had suppressed this experience, it would just have re-emerged in some matter later in your life. You have certainly saved many other boys from victimization by this perp.

Good luck to you


#8731 - 04/08/06 03:12 AM Re: Enraged (Triggers)
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

On the use of the pictures he took of you, imagine what would have happened if you had NOT exposed him? The pictures would have been circulated for years and many more boys could have been hurt as a result. You did the right thing.

On the consequences of all this for you, I hope your parents will talk to the DA's office and with your local office for child protective services. They can reassure you and your parents on what will and will not happen in court, if the case ever comes to that. I am very sure they will be able to assure you that this will not be a TV fiasco like the Michael Jackson trial. There are strict rules on how a court case may treat a boy who has been abused.

On your school situation, again the DA's office ought to be able to help. Don't you have a case worker assigned to you? His/her job is to keep you informed but also to help with these other things. Someone like this can talk to the school's headmaster or principal and explain the situation, but then the principal would not be allowed to disclose details about you to your teachers. The teachers will simply be advised that you have valid reasons for your problems.

Above all, Bill, remember that you have already told your parents what happened. That was the worst part. Now you should allow yourself to trust them and let them help you through this.

Don't shut them out now and try to cope on your own. It's okay to be scared and confused. Ask any adult here, and they will tell you how difficult (or impossible) they would have found it to do what YOU have done so far. Just remember that one very important part of recovery is learning to ask for the things you need.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#8732 - 04/08/06 04:42 AM Re: Enraged (Triggers)
Bill_h_pike Offline

Registered: 05/26/05
Posts: 67
Loc: USA

#8734 - 04/08/06 06:19 AM Re: Enraged (Triggers)
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1798
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
I did the court thing and it was a little hard, but the DA did a really good job of telling me step by step what would happen. You did the right thing, and in your heart you know that.

I dropped out of college because of all the issues I had due to the abuse. But over a decade later I went back and used those old credits and will finish that degree in May.

Testifying may be painful but it will be a part of your healing, and much like removing a splinter can hurt, you will feel a lot better after.

If you have any questions feel free to PM me.

It will take time but if you work hard, gradually things will improve.

If I can do it, anyone can do it.

#8735 - 04/08/06 08:01 AM Re: Enraged (Triggers)
John Oarc Offline

Registered: 02/10/06
Posts: 633
Loc: Louisiana
Bill, we are with you. Don't give up. I find myself at a loss for words here because I know what you mean by not being able to concentrate on your school work and being the first in your family to go to college. It just makes me want to say Don't give up, you are going to make it. I feel your pain and I hope and pray that this will soon pass.

Whatever It Takes, God

#8736 - 04/08/06 09:11 AM Re: Enraged (Triggers)
melliferal Offline

Registered: 11/03/05
Posts: 1159
Originally posted by Bill_h_pike:

I am enraged by this. I get physically ill when I think about all the sick bastards out there jacking off to those pictures of me. My perp stole my innocence and then shared it with the world. I cry when I think some other little boy out there might be getting groomed with my pictures. I would hate to be at all involved in some other kids nightmare.
This is the EXACT set of thoughts over which I've been psychologically torturing myself for the last 15 years. It's not fun. I don't know how likely it is that my face is out there being circulated on the net; but when I see news stories about people being caught with tens to hundreds of thousands of images on their computers, sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't be asking what the chances are that they have my images, but rather what the chances are that they dont.

And you don't know - wait, I take that back; maybe you DO know - how really sick it makes me, when I hear people who get caught with child porn on their computers say things like, "It's only a picture". I actually read this in my local paper the other day; there's a perv near here who got caught with child porn on his computer. He's a registered sex offender now, and it turns out the local cops have just figured out that he lives too close to an elementary school. The city has told him to move, and says it will give him adequate time to do so - but his father (who doesn't live with him) is complaining that the perv is being harassed. He actually says "All he had was some pictures on his computer - he would never hurt a kid". Abso-fecking-lutely amazing.

Still and all, you've caught the source. If they have this guy with images on his computer, there's simply no legal magic any defense team can work. He's going to jail for a Very Long Time. I see a party in your future.

Children cannot consent; they can only comply.

Oprah's resources for male survivors

#8737 - 04/08/06 10:51 AM Re: Enraged (Triggers)
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
my perp sent me pictures and video of my abuse 10 years after, they were eventualy used to put him back in prison .but who knows how many copies there are?

its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

#8738 - 04/08/06 06:40 PM Re: Enraged (Triggers)
ScottyTodd Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 02/12/03
Posts: 1561
Loc: Pennsylvania
Bill - I am enraged along with you!!! How incredibly brave to speak up and take on the power to stop that MONSTER!! Who knows how many kids you saved from his torture! In my book, you absolutely did the right thing!! It may not feel like it now...but he no longer has that control on you nor others!

I don't know where you're located but many counties have Victim's Assistance Programs (sometimes called NOVA). You may want to hook up with them. They are experienced in sexual victimization treatment/support and will walk with you through the court process as well as interceding with your school. The DA's office should be helpful in setting this up for you. If not, look in the phone book for victim' support systems.

If you have problems with this or questions, you can PM me and I'll locate a like agency for you!


If you think you can or you can't - you're right!.......anon
It's never too late to have a happy childhood!.....anon
You're very normal for the abnormal situation you've been through..............S. Todd

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