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#82539 - 05/05/04 08:10 PM I Remember 11 (TRIGGERS!)
crisispoint Offline

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
I Remember 11

Empty, lonely, and worthless.
Picked on by other kids.
Emotionally tortured by my father.
Only loved by my mother.
Only liked by a few friends.
But one man made me feel worthwhile
One person made me feel special.

I remember 11.

Other remember it as a time between
Childhood and adulthood.
A magic time beyond emotion.
I was an adult before I could grow
Into it.
Pushed into "mentoring" my peers
And being mocked for it.
Too fat, too goofy, not "good enough."

I remember 11.

A person who said I was handsome, smart,
"Good enough." Talking his way into my
Heart, and into my pants.
Turned into a nightmare, but I believed
Both the good and bad. I was sexy!
But only worth having sex with.
A child being called "bitch."
A child forced to be a man with little reward.
Having only what he said to believe,
Then finding out it was all a lie.

I remember 11.
I remember it all.
I remember being worthless.
Too worthless to be human.
Too worthless to save.

I remember 11.

Scot \:\(

There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

#82540 - 05/13/04 10:43 PM Re: I Remember 11 (TRIGGERS!)
Whicker Offline

Registered: 11/01/03
Posts: 117
Loc: Pastures of Oregon

I can relate to your Poem, except that I was all of 9 years old when my 'Friend' abused me.
Made me feel 'dirty', used me as a thing to violate.
Threw me away afterwards, threatening to tell my parents, to expose the 'evil' Sin that I had participated in.



Esse Quam Videri
(To be, rather than to seem)

#82541 - 05/17/04 10:34 AM Re: I Remember 11 (TRIGGERS!)
John Ireland Offline

Registered: 11/12/02
Posts: 155
Loc: Chicago
Hey Scot!

#82542 - 05/17/04 10:48 AM Re: I Remember 11 (TRIGGERS!)
John Ireland Offline

Registered: 11/12/02
Posts: 155
Loc: Chicago
Hey Scot!

I totally relate!
I remember mine at eight!

I will forever display their twisted scars
I am lucky I escaped to imagination, not bars

I developed my humor facing naked torment
I learned at camp the horrors of a tent

I survived by being a great role player
I know that was better than my worst slayer

I am breaking my silence more & more
I must open the blind world's door...

United in force & energized by Gloria Gaynor, "I WILL SURVIVE!" All my best, John C. Ireland:) \:\)


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