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#82118 - 11/29/03 01:12 PM Don't know
Leosha Offline

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
I hear them still, laughing at me as I lie before them as an offering to their dark God. The angry hissing whispers. The shifting shapes on side of my eyes, falling back into position when I turn to look, haunting my vision and memory. The ghost hands on my skin, causing it to crawl away of my body and soul, to disappear into corner of safety. Reality shrinks away of me again. I fall into myself, falling silently into the blackness, not knowing when it will end. The evil chants of others that call me to edge of sanity. I look for the source of voices, seeing none. I am tired. I see the darkness rise up to meet me, to take me away of my life. I welcome it, letting it embrace me into it's future, and I vanish.

Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

#82119 - 11/30/03 02:03 AM Re: Don't know
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Leosha, you must not vanish--you need to continue to prove that we do have terrible anxieties--but we overcome them and move on in life as best we can.

Those things are from the past. They will never be allowed again. Recently, in my male survivor group I worked on ways to ground myself when I am in danger of disappearing from the present. I have worked hard on them. Sucessful all but once.


If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

#82120 - 11/30/03 02:21 AM Re: Don't know
michael Joseph Offline

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
I know all yesterdays can't be erased, and if that is true, each tommorow has a new begining.

Have some hope and start to feel in control

Michael Joseph

Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat


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