I see all this writing
Trying to get over it
To cope with the pain
To deal with the shit

To learn how to live
After living through it
I just wish I were you
And could handle this shit

It's been 15 years for me
And the pain is alive
I've hurt many people
And some aren't still alive

It starts when I drink
Just a beer or two
Then I get drunk
And the anger burns anew

I want to kill someone
Want to hear them beg
Maybe I'm sick
Fucked up in the head

For I have 21 people
In my life who have hurt me
All but two are relatives
What a happy family are we

I've been to jail
Counseling and shrinks
Once even a priest
But the priest.....

I couldn't look him in the eye
A good catholic I was raised
To not hurt indiscriminately
To not cause other people pain

He was a good man
I knew him for years
I did finally tell him
But after, he lived only 1 year

Now I am alone
No one I can tell
The pain is unbearable
Alone in this hell

All these people I see
Writing about the past
To overcome this anger
To deal with the past

I wish I were you
I wish I could run
But the only way I sleep
Is beer, and a gun

I am a family man
Have a wife, and some sons
And to look at me
You'd think I have won

But I might be going to jail
I hurt one again
Sometimes I can't help it
But thank god for the beer again...

E. Weeks


I don't know if you will read this, or remember me, but if you do, please e-mail that info about the counseling you sent to me in March.

Thank You

Without my sons, I would not be here.