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#80891 - 11/21/02 01:24 AM a clear autumn day.
James_dup1 Offline

Registered: 04/13/02
Posts: 1332
Loc: Wyoming
A clear autumn day

It was a clear autumn day as I started my walk
The crispness of the air filled my lungs
The sun makes the dew on the leaf look like a million diamonds dancing like fairies
Mother Nature painted a perfect day to walk in the woods
The oranges, yellows, red’s of the leaves mixed as only a master painter could
The song the birds were singing was like an orchestra playing in perfect harmony
The sunrise rising in the east exploded as if to scream see me world wonder at my beauty
I walk deeper into the woods, allowing my body, mind, and soul to be lost in it all
Suddenly, I look up; I’ve never seen this part of the woods
I spin around
The birds are no longer singing
The colors on the leaves, brown, dead, decaying
The darkness starts to engulf me
Slowly at first all most to slow t even be seen
My mind races at every sound, every twig snap
My body freezes in fear
My soul trembles at the loneliness
The darkness moves closer and closer
I run as fast as I can
Turning at every path I can find
The panic swells in me like a title wave, so small no one sees it
Not even I
I run faster and faster from the darkness
I can feel my energy fleeting from my body
My mind says lay down let it have you
My body says run faster
My soul trembles in he corner like a lost child
I stop and scream “WHY! WHY ME? WHY THIS DAY????!!!!!!”
I wait for my answer
I stand not moving a muscle
The only sound I hear is my own breathing
The only thing I feel is numb
The only thing I smell is rot
The only think I see is nothing
The only think I taste is death
I ask again as I fall to my needs ready to give up
I cry into my hands and ask softly “why?”
The only answer I got back was
“Because your all alone”

I have more issues than Rolling Stone!

#80892 - 11/21/02 02:45 PM Re: a clear autumn day.
Wuamei Offline

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...

Powerful words, brother survivor. They speak as tho straight from your heart. They speak to me as a metaphor of a childhood only briefly (if ever, for me) to be lived & enjoyed before the onset of the darkness of abuse and becoming, as the Supremes once sang, "lost in a world that's a distorted reality."

Thanks for sharing this James; very timely in many ways. For me, autumn falls (ok pun intended :rolleyes: ) too quickly into "the holiday season," a rough time of year for me, and I suspect for many of us.

Take care James--and you're not alone anymore!


"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

#80893 - 11/24/02 05:35 AM Re: a clear autumn day.
michael Joseph Offline

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia

memories frozen in time

scary memories

held in the brain

by some twisted jester

who won't let them out

kill the jester and

triumph over those that

are chasing you in the woods

into the woods to grandmother's house

there is danger in the woods

beware of the woods

beware of te woods!

don't talk to strangers

in the woods

stay out of tht woods

Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

#80894 - 11/25/02 12:50 AM Re: a clear autumn day.
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
James, Michael

you are not alone in the woods, never will you be alone.


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

#80895 - 11/25/02 01:26 PM Re: a clear autumn day.
Wuamei Offline

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...

Good thots, and thots that don't come easy for me, probably not for a lot of us survivors. But you're so right--we can overcome the darkness & fear with love & trust, the isolation with intimacy. We can help each other do that as survivors, right here on this site too. Sometimes the light is blinding, yes--but I can never see in the dark!

Take care Matt


"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck


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