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#79374 - 09/27/04 10:51 PM Hate Has Become My Nature (TRIGGERS!)
crisispoint Offline

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
Hate Has Become My Nature

I hate, which is sad and pathetic.
We are meant to love and care for each other.
Yet I hate. I hate because I was betrayed.
Love becomes hate when it is abused.
The love a child feels becomes hate when misused.
Hate for other people, and worse, hate of self.
We shouldn't hate our very selves.
Now I do. When I was a child, I needed love.
I thought I had it. Someone told me they loved me.
Instead, love turned to contempt. Love was a weapon.
One I learned to use, but not on other people.
Only on myself.
Because I was unworthy of love, and unworthy to hurt others.
Not that I wanted to, except for one person.
The one who put the gun in my hand.
I couldn't even hate him. He turned my feelings against me.
So I could only hate myself.
And now I hate him and me both.
That's progress for me.



There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

#79375 - 09/30/04 05:40 PM Re: Hate Has Become My Nature (TRIGGERS!)
markgreyblue Offline

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
scot - all of our feelings can't be fluffy and nice - some are murderous and dark - and yet they pass - take care sir - just don't act on the bad -

" not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous


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