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#7906 - 02/03/05 06:49 PM Just a funny thing that happened
Dan88 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/07/02
Posts: 247
Loc: DC
Here's a funny thing that happened to me today, and I'm taking it as a hopeful sign. I was walking to work and went past an old Datsun parked on the street. For you young guys, Datsun was the American name for Nissan automobiles way back when I was a kid. You don't see them much any more. This was a really old model and the name isn't used any more, I don't think. It was the same type of car that the minister who molested me used to drive when I first knew him.

So I see this car and it really just jolted me. Nothing horrific, but it just caused me to pause for a moment with an uncomfortable feeling and then I remembered he used to drive one. So I thought to myself, could I be feeling a little odd because of the associations I have with that car? And then I had this litttle flash of sadness. Just my eyes getting a little teary, but nothing extreme. Then I got pissed. I can't believe how this shit bugs me. What kind of fucking moron gets jittery about a car. And then I thought about the little plastic dinosaurs that the minister used to keep in the car to entice little kids, which really got me pissed, and remembered driving in it to cookouts when he was still duping my mother into giving him access to me and my brother. And then I decided not to worry about it. It's history. Sad history, but history. I am who I am, I like myself, and who cares about any of the rest of it. And off I went to work.

So now that I'm sitting here eating lunch, it occured to me. I pushed right through the steps denial, grief, anger and acceptance all in the time it took to walk about the distance of one city block. I don't know that I'll handle every trigger so easily going forward, but it makes me happy to think that this thing bubbled up, I processed it, and then moved onward. No big crisis. If it sounds like I'm patting myself on the back, I am. If it sounds like I'm making a big deal about something silly, I don't know. Maybe I am, but for me it felt great to just face what was happening, process it and not have it fuck me up.


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#7907 - 02/03/05 07:11 PM Re: Just a funny thing that happened
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1803
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
That is awesome! Good for you!


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#7908 - 02/03/05 07:58 PM Re: Just a funny thing that happened
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Dan that is really super!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#7909 - 02/04/05 03:55 PM Re: Just a funny thing that happened
dwf Offline
Moderator/BoD Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/24/03
Posts: 1223
Loc: Austin, Texas USA
Hey Dan,

Great bit of progress there. Thanks for letting us know about it.

It's very inspiring to know that the steps we take toward recovery really do help ease the pain and trauma.

Good to be reminded of that today.

Regards,

_________________________
"Poke salad Annie, 'gators got you granny
Everybody said it was a shame
'Cause her mama was aworkin' on the chain-gang"

-Tony Joe White

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#7910 - 02/04/05 06:59 PM Re: Just a funny thing that happened
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
Dan Good that you where able to move through this and not let it bring you down. Keep up the good HEALING work. Wish I could be as strong. Tom

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

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#7911 - 02/06/05 03:37 PM Re: Just a funny thing that happened
Raphael Offline
Member

Registered: 10/10/04
Posts: 67
Thank you for sharing! Your story gave me more hope in my own process of healing. It is always good to hear from those that have gotten to "the end of the tunnel". \:\)


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#7912 - 02/07/05 12:45 AM Re: Just a funny thing that happened
FlyWM Offline
Member

Registered: 09/14/03
Posts: 322
Loc: Michigan
That is great! A huge step towards healing, hopefully we can all experience something that great sooner rather than later.

Scott

_________________________
Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible in not a declaration, it's a dare.

--Adidas

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