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#7812 - 04/07/06 10:38 AM Re: Need advice
JediKnight Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 04/05/06
Posts: 6
Has anyone else had the experience of having their therapist try to cover up the mistakes of their colleague(s) at your personal emotional expense?


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#7814 - 04/07/06 01:40 PM Re: Need advice
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Jedi,

I am not a professional therapist, so this is just my gut reaction to the problem.

It looks to me like your T is trying to avoid the issue that he did not really know what the retreat would be like before you went to it. He is implicitly taking the line that it is up to you to decide whether you will go to this or that retreat, and afterwards he is willing to discuss with you the results of the retreat or any raw issues you may have. He's saying that he isn't responsible for what does or doesn't happen on the retreat.

But the fact of the matter is that if he refers clients to these retreats he should have been very clear about what happens. Otherwise he is just sending business to his pals and to hell with his clients.

I have thought about this thread a lot, and I don't see any way in hell that a survivor's recovery would be promoted by standing naked on a pedestal (!!!!) in front of others, all also naked, talking about what he dislikes about his penis and having one of the facilitators provide a commentary! This is just voyeurism on the part of the facilitators so far as I can see. Or shock therapy? I hope you will take Scotty Todd's advise and report this incident. You will be saving other survivors a similar experience.

It's terrible you got two of the rotten apples in the barrel. But I hope you will not be put off therapy because of this or be too badly retraumatized by what happened. ALL of the Ts I have worked with have been great and they have helped me so much. I feel sure that this applies to the majority of the others as well.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#7815 - 04/08/06 02:51 AM Re: Need advice
JediKnight Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 04/05/06
Posts: 6
I believe ScottyTodd really hits the nail on the head when he says:

"The fact you are providing therapy/healing for men who were abused (forced/ coerced/bribed/ etc.) sexually then invite them to an experience that may (does) put them in an environment where force/coercion/intimidation/ etc. exists sexually (even if that force is mentally self-inflicted)is dangerous and possibly re-traumatizing"

I believe that all survivors are potentially at risk for the type of experience that I had. Risk factors include small group size and facilitators that are lionized by all of the group participants. Everyone in the group realized that the therapy was controversial (ie we cannot tell anyone), but we trusted implicitly anything that these therapists suggested.


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#7816 - 04/08/06 02:59 AM Re: Need advice
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Jedi,

One positive note in all this: You yourself decided that this was no good for you and you refused to participate. Others just followed the lead provided. You respected your own boundaries and stood by them. Well done!

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
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