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#77333 - 09/26/04 01:30 AM Life before death ancient rites
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6845
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Lost in this aloneness,
Who understands this world within?
Yes, this life?s secret shared,
Ah, they care but do they really understand?
Who knows what he has done
To destroy this life and make me seem so weak.
Who understands that my heart is breaking?
Who understands this prison within,
Where so many gates await to be opened.
Who understands the fear of Now?
For too much pain comes in.
Who understands the shame felt?
In all this filth and years of abuse.
Who understands that Abuse is Death
For life has been taken from this child within.
Who understands the anger now felt
At him who has done all this.
Who understands the confusion within?
Who can give the answers to all this ?
Who Understands?
Let them not deceive us
with this as a modern phenomenon
we have ancestors
who are also survivors.
They had no words in their time
for what they suffered.
They too were spirits
struggling to live in their bodies,
they took another path
and retreated into their minds,
dreaming of the day they would die
and their spirits would be
re-united with their souls.
This was the only way they knew
now we know that life
is the manifestation of spirit in flesh
and our souls are essentially sensual
An ancestor, a survivor
by the name of Satiamyth
wrote the following in the first century AD:
"I couldn't live with who I was
and so I did dream of a land far away
where my particular circumstance
did not exist. I was free and me
again before the shame.
There, in that world, I had a life
and a woman I did love bore me a child.
I saw that child grow and saw
its spirit sparkle and glow in his
eyes and his smile.
But the dark clouds grew
deeper than before
and although I was sad
and jealous of his life
I never let my hurt turn bitter,
I let him be free.
I saw how he radiated love
and changed the world around him,
as he became a man.
I basked in that warm affection
and it gave me life.
When I became old and the day came
when I would once again be re-united
with my spirit my son came to me
with his smiling eyes.
He held my hand
and told me to look in my soul.
I didn't think I had one
but I looked and there
in my soul I found my spirit
and I was one again.
I was happy.
He told me that my spirit
had returned all those years ago
when I had allowed one of Gods' spirits
to become what it would.
I had allowed life in then
and I didn't know it.
I was dead no more from that time.
So now at the edge of life
I am meeting death
and for the first time
I realised I was alive.
This death didn't seem
like the dying I had known,
there was a peace to it.
I managed to speak some last words
to my son,
"why did no one tell me
my spirit had returned?"
He replied,
"No one can tell you when
your spirit returns,
you have to find it for yourself."
He held my hand and
looked into my eyes
and as I slipped away
our eyes said all the love
our words would never capture
and then came the darkness.
When I opened my eyes
I looked upon my dead self
and I was with terrible grief.
I saw I was holding my hand
and then I remembered
that my world was a dream
but in my dream
I had lived my whole life
I had died and been born."
This is the earliest known record
of recovery from sexual abuse.
Others followed his legacy
and dreamed his dream
and began to believe they too
could have life before death.

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#77334 - 04/15/05 07:01 PM Re: Life before death ancient rites
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6845
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Just brought this back for anyone to read, just think there is a message in there,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
#77335 - 04/21/05 07:27 PM Re: Life before death ancient rites
rom2057 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 04/21/05
Posts: 7
Thanks for posting this poem.
By accident I found this site last year, and occassionally reading posts and articles on this site have helped me through rough times, and I hope they will help for my younger cousin who has brought our perpetrator to court for molesting his(my cousin's) kids also.
It has been 41 years since I was first molested, and only in the last couple years have I begun to learn who I am and to know the boy who disappeared at 6.
Thanks to you all.

Jim


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#77336 - 05/11/05 11:40 PM Re: Life before death ancient rites
Anonymous
Unregistered


I just read your poetic posting, and wanted to let you know how beautifully and closely it describes my "inner" life so far. I want to find out more about the author--will I find anything about him on the internet?


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#77337 - 05/11/05 11:59 PM Re: Life before death ancient rites
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6845
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Dunno who wrote it, but I found it pretty good.
Do a google search
Quote:
Satiamyth
you will find the source,

this is the link,

http://oneinfour.org/morepoetry/

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
#77338 - 12/28/05 05:47 PM Re: Life before death ancient rites
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6845
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Bumped up again...

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
#77339 - 12/28/05 07:12 PM Re: Life before death ancient rites
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Ste,

I recall seeing this when you first posted it, and it reminds me of how I was back then: so afraid and ashamed with no idea of what to do next.

This part in particular struck me:

Quote:
"No one can tell you when
your spirit returns,
you have to find it for yourself."
I should have read this more carefully back in May!

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#77340 - 12/29/05 09:10 AM Re: Life before death ancient rites
Derdlecar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/08/05
Posts: 1316
Loc: Ogden Utah, USA
ste,

Thanks for bringing this back to the top, it speaks to my heart.

Darrel

_________________________
If a man would get his life on track, he must first go back to the place where it was derailed.

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#77341 - 05/25/06 01:38 AM Re: Life before death ancient rites
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6845
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
I am bringing this back up, as it speaks volumes to anyone who cares to read it,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
#77342 - 07/26/06 09:26 PM Re: Life before death ancient rites
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6845
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Bump ^ * ^
[ + ]
[*]

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top

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