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#76400 - 11/06/00 05:28 AM response from abcd
abcd Offline

Registered: 10/20/00
Posts: 189
Loc: GA
I don't know if I should be starting this thread especially since I'm in a rut (fyi, look at the "new message" thread in survivor forum to see what my story is), but I guess I should say thanks to Neil and Wert. I am not particularly divinely inspired right now but I guess because I'm looking for a "religious" response, I'll post here...I did read your story Neil though (I think I might have read it a LONG time ago--I've been checking out websites like these for the past couple years ever since college started). You're right guys, it is tough. I can't imagine being in your spots though, being a little older than I am I think. I admire very much the fact that no matter how much you guys have been through, you're all still going. Indeed, someone's hand must be on carrying you. Friends and people are also put in the right place. I have a question though...I am somewhat afraid of therapists--Neil, I think you mentioned this (we have free counselors here but I know that 1) they will eventually not be free anymore when I am out of school and do not want to be dependent on them and 2) the religious perspective is not usually one considered by such counselors). I do not know really...maybe I'm tired, but I'm just wondering what you guys (or anyone else) knows about counselors. Thanks.

#76401 - 11/06/00 03:10 PM Re: response from abcd
wert Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 11/02/00
Posts: 21
Loc: Ut
Hey it's great to hear from you. I am glad that you are holding on. You can do it buddy. It just takes time. Now to answer your question about therapist. It is scary looking for a good therapist who would uphold your values. I guess I am at an advantage because I am in a group that supports my religious beliefs. I am also seeing a therapist who also supports my religious beliefs. Having a group and a therapist who support my beliefs and values has been a strength to me. I guess the only advice that I can give you is to search around until you feel comfortable. Know that I am always here if you need me. My email is take care. Any questions?

#76402 - 11/08/00 09:16 AM Re: response from abcd
Neil Offline

Registered: 10/17/00
Posts: 81
Loc: Millersville, MD, USA
abcd, First let me say I'm sorry. I think Wert and I got you locked out of your post in the Survivor Forum because we talked about religion. I had no idea they would do that or I would have responded in a different manner. Now about therapists. I agree with Wert completely. This is your recovery and you should try to find a therapist that will best help you. You don't have to settle for just any therapist. There is nothing wrong with shopping around and interviewing more than one. I made about 50 phone calls and talked to 10-12 therapists before I found the one I have now. I'm sure your search will be a little different because you have a limited number to pick from but don't feel like you have to take the first one you talk to. I didn't make religious beliefs part of the criteria in finding my therapist. I really wanted one with experience in men abused as boys. Later, I found out that he did share my beliefs and that made it even better. We now make that part of our regular discussions. The men in my group don't all feel the way I do but allow me to talk about it as part of my work. They are very supportive even though they don't necessarily believe the same things I do. I do feel that it is important to find a therapist. There are so many issues that are so hard to work through alone. It really helps to have someone guide you through it. Just remember, this is YOUR recovery! You have a right to handle it in a way that will best help you. You have already taken that important first step. You are talking about it. Please continue. I have had a taste of freedom and I can tell you I LIKE IT!!!!! Feel free to respond here or e-mail me.


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