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#76341 - 12/15/06 06:56 AM Church
Hauser Offline

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2963
Loc: United States
I've never gone back since my Dad stopped making me go when I was like 12 or so. I bitched about not liking it and that I didn't fit in there. I never felt comfortable there. So he said I didn't have to go. I didn't want to turn away from God but that Church (Catholic) made me feel so out of place. I never felt liked I fit in.

I believe in God, but now I wonder if I was so disgusted with my abuse and all the other issues that manifested in my life that I let my anger and dissapointment be directed at him?

What am I suppoosed to do if I don't feel comfortable in a church?

I don't like the whole scenerio where you sit and stand and sit and stand and the Priest recites all sorts of passages in Old English that is barely understandable to me and you all pray prayers that say in so many words......."Oh God you're so big and powerful, we're all really very impressed down here, please don't destroy us, we will try to be good"

How many times do you have to tell God that you love him? How many times do you have to ask for forgiveness?

I would go to church if I just plain felt right about what they did there.

I never felt so out of place as at a church, and yet I feel like I'm missing something too.

Hell, I don't know.

#76342 - 12/15/06 07:37 AM Re: Church
Halibut Offline

Registered: 08/29/06
Posts: 228
Loc: Alaska
Hi Hauser,

I can appreciate your being mad at God-- why didn't the BIG GUY simply end the abuse or prevent it.

But we don't go to Church to satisfy God, we go so he can satisfy us. God doesn't go on an ego trip b/c we say God is great. We go so we can hear God tell us the meaning of life, "Love one another as I have loved you"-exactly the opposite of abuse. We go b/c we need to know that even after unwarranted suffering there is hope and ressurection. We go for us, not God

There's a void in your life, if the Catholic Church you were raised in doesn't work for you, find another. It's like clothes, find something that fits you.

Happy hunting, Halibut

#76343 - 12/16/06 01:54 AM Re: Church
phoster Offline

Registered: 11/21/03
Posts: 758
Loc: ohio
it is easy to let the world drive you away from God. many do.

you know church refers to the body of Christ. it simply means a collection of those that believe Christ is Lord. it isnt a building, and you dont need a building to be saved and love God.

when Christ died the mantle in the temple split. it was symbolic that the path was now open to everyone. you do not need a priest to aproach God as you once did. Now you only need to call on Christ's name.

you know, i would love to fellowship with others that believe, but i cannot support the rapture doctrine that has ran through the churches of the world. for me to know what i know and support something that is misleading so many would be a very bad sin. what i face is that there is no building i can belong to, but i know i belong to the body, and that is what counts.

take your case to God, and dont worry about the buildings or sects. you dont need them to be with God now days.

compassion is a light even to the darkest soul

#76344 - 12/16/06 02:53 AM Re: Church
Paul1959 Offline

Registered: 05/17/06
Posts: 525
Loc: NYC
Go on a spiritual trek - ask God to show himself to you, ask him to lead you to a place where you can feel comfortable. Try it, and see what happens. You can't sit at home all day for it to work, but start going to any place that looks interesting and stay away from those that give you a knot in your stomach. Stay spiritual - avoid religion.

#76345 - 12/16/06 02:57 AM Re: Church
Hauser Offline

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2963
Loc: United States
Thank you

#76346 - 12/16/06 03:40 AM Re: Church
reality2k4 Offline

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6845
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
I think its up to you, I fell out with the church, but that was because I did not feel right in that place of worship.

Far better to be part of mass in my Cathedral with a Bishop saying mass, like he is the one God chose to be his voice.

I went to every church service as a kid, every day almost, crying to God, so I guess he knows me pretty well, I guess he knows you too, and all the guys here.

If you are a good man in life, you dont need a preacher to tell you Gods way, you will already be following it,


Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

#76347 - 12/17/06 07:49 AM Re: Church
froggy12 Offline

Registered: 11/12/06
Posts: 527
Loc: Marlboro, MA 01752
Well gents,
I went to 12 years of Catholic School, was an altar boy (did not get molested). I was on an icebreaker in the Antarctic oceans and my world started to fall apart. All that I was raised to believe: church, country suddenly didn't seem to live to what I was taught. There was no one I could talk to about my fears, doubts and all that good stuff. For some odd reason young hormonal sailors are really not interested in these problems. So I dropped the wondering and went on my merry way.
Eventally as some have said above, I concluded God is not in a building, God is in the goodness in all of us.
Why we were allowed to be messed up I don't know. Why are innocents allowed to be molested? I don't know. I have yelled at God: Hey you Mr God, what the fuck are doing to me and my friends? Mr God did not reply. So I came to the conclusion that here in this MS place, God is sort of with us since we can console each other, we can see the goodness in all of us; we give support to our friends in anguish, a good wish, a pat/hug, all this is God working thru us. So we have not been abandoned even though it seems that Alice In Wonderland has nothing on us in our own fantasy world. We give each other hope because some of us have reached that level and that's what keeps us going. Do not give up.

Your friend Froggy12


#76348 - 12/17/06 10:34 AM Re: Church
ScottyTodd Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 02/12/03
Posts: 1561
Loc: Pennsylvania
Hauser - You're talking about an area in which survivors struggle to make sense. It took me quite a few years to work through my relationship with God and one heck of a struggle to relate back through the church. My perp really warped my spiritual relationships. It wasn't until I began to understand myself, who God is for me and then "our" relationship began to clear itself and iniated my journey back to Him. My deepest darkest spiritual moments were in answering "where was God in all of my abuses". These answers helped me know the shape of the church I needed to feel and know and maintain my spiritual connection with God. But I know the journey, though hard and long, was absolutely worth it!! I encourage you to trake what breaks you need but to pursue your spiritual healing! My prayers accompany you on your journey!!


If you think you can or you can't - you're right!.......anon
It's never too late to have a happy childhood!.....anon
You're very normal for the abnormal situation you've been through..............S. Todd

#76349 - 12/19/06 10:24 PM Re: Church
sis Offline

Registered: 10/05/06
Posts: 195
Loc: Arizona
."Oh God you're so big and powerful, we're all

really very impressed down here, please don't destroy us, we will try to be good"

this quote is why i went on my own spiritual quest. Makes no sense to me either. as paul said go on your own spiritual search. you can do it through quiet times with a higher power. just make your needs known and you'll find the answers your looking for. You will by chance meet someone who will have the answer or by chance you run across a book or by chance you will be led to your own serenity. I say by chance only because that's the way it works for me. i don't call it chance though, i call it answers to my questions put out there to the universe. Experiencing spirituality is much different than experiencing religion. I have heard this quote "religious people are afraid to go to hell, spiritual people have already been there" Your answers will come to you and they don't have to be someone elses. light and luv, sis

#76350 - 12/20/06 07:32 AM Re: Church
WalkingSouth Offline

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16270
Loc: Waldport, Oregon

I like Paul's answer. God isn't as complicated as many organized religions make him out to be. Too many people put him in a box and expect him to submit to their ideas of who he ought to be.

God has a place where you can feel comfortable and in connection with him. It may be in a church or it may be in the woods or elsewhere, and it will change as your journey changes.

Ask him to take you on the journey you need to be on.

Lots of love,


"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy Shit! What a ride!'" ~Hunter S. Thompson

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