The abuse started at around 5 years old and included incest and being passed around to my dad's friends and my uncles. I was also beaten by my father who was a practicing alcoholic at the time. At 11, I was sexually abused by the girl-next-door's boyfriend, who turned out to be part of some type of pornography ring. He would abuse me, compare his body to mine (I always lost in that deal) and many times we would go out for a drive and he would place a chlorophorm-soaked bandana on my face and hold it there unitl I passed out. One day, I came to and was being used by a crippled guy in some strange house. This went on for years. Later, I was simply pimped out. At age 13, 5 neighborhood boys (3 of whom I knew), brutally molested me, beat me, F***ed me til I bled, and left me in a field a block away from where I lived (the abuse at home and with the next door neighbor's boyfriend was continuing at that time too). I was again compared to a overly endowed older male. I was ridiculed and beaten at school , in my neighborhood I would be beaten and sexually abused, at home I was beaten and psychologically abused, there was no safe place for me and so by the time I was 17 I had been the victim of at least 18 different sexual abuse perpetrators.Throughout nd at young ages, I witnessed my mother being beaten and raped by my father. At age 17, I began to suspect what I had been through (that I could actually remember then) was abusive, when I had sex with a female for the first time in the context of a loving relationship. I had no boundries, so that if a man approached me for sex, there would be the sound of a zipper and my knees would hit the floor. I had no clue that I had any human rights let alone the right to my own body and so the abuse continued until I began acting out and then I found after many years this was one way the abuse was continuing. I was 37 before I began to recieve professional help. It took another 5 years to find the right medications and correct dosages to treat my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (diagnosed by a physician), Major Depressive Disorder (severe range they told me), and Chronic Lifetime Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. By this time I had also been a full-blown alcoholic, had used street drugs, and had attempted suicide more than a few times. I used to drink whiskey, take a handful of sleeping pills, cut on my body with a razor blade and pray to die. I had a subconscious deth wish and I had been exposing myself to high risk for HIV. Eventually, I became disabled as my body gave out from all of the stress..that was in 1998 and I have been disabled ever since. I didn't learn of my human rights until I was 36 years old and I didn not understand that I could make my own choices until I was 38.I have had years of therapy and I am now rexperiencing "Emotional Flashbacks" in the sense that there is no physical memories or time distortions etc, just the pure emotion and it has been hitting me hard after a good healing spell, where I finally managed to get myself back into school. I am working towards an Associate's Degree at the local Technical College...I am 45 years old. Those are the basics of my story.