My life was taken away as a child of ten years, I was raped and made to do disgusting acts in front of the abuser who threatened to kill me and my younger brother.
I did not know what sex was but was soon to find out.
He came into the toilets in the park and thrust a coin into my hand and started to play with my little brother.
I was totally mortified at this, and he whisked us off into a cubicle.
He threatened me if I did not do as he said, so I was deeply humiliated by the acts he performed on me, and made me do to him.
He ripped off my clothing like some rag doll, and just lusted at me, I guess I did not know what was really going on but I was terrified of him, like he was some animal gone wrong.
He terrified me so much that I never told police the full story, partly through embarrassment, but mostly through terror that he instilled in me.
My life just turned over and I was just waiting for him to pouncr on me again.
The biggest fear in my life, was one of not telling, and letting the guilt get to me, that I did not tell, even after those threats, which at the time would not be significant, but to proteft his family, the little boy would not tell.
Is this not how child abusers work!
Who am I now?
He cried so much of his life in silence,
He cowered in fear,
He sought solace from the uncaring world,
I guess he is so far away from real love.
He does not not really know what real intimacy is about.
God, how many times did I cry to you, to take away these chains of life and let me be an adult without all these fears.
Juar let me curl up like a little boy with my teddy and not make me feel hurt now.
I was a stranger in my own home, I was not a kid any more, I was something strange in my own family. Things got so bad that I cut myself in the bathroom and stayed there for hours crying.
I always ran away from home, because I could not stand the hurt my family put on me, and could not come to terms with the past.
I should not have to go through the stress of childhood abuse in my every day life, but I do, and I cannot forget it.
I asked God to take me when I was a little boy, and he does not listen, like he never did.
Anyway, I have a full stomach, and w roof over my head, what more could I need,
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!